My Preschooler Is Growing Up. Recommendations For Parents

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The main crisis moments in the upbringing of a preschooler. Recommendations for parents

A crisis is not only a kind of impasse, but also an opportunity. The ability to go further, try something new, develop. Preschoolers go through three natural developmental crises: one year, three years and seven. In my experience, the most difficult times for parents are when their child is about three or about seven years old. I would like to consider in more detail what happens to our kids at this difficult time for them. And how can parents cope with the difficulties that arise.

Is your baby already approaching the age of three and is his behavior and character beginning to change?

This is a natural and, moreover, a phenomenon necessary for development. Do not be afraid that the child will remain so uncontrollable, capricious and self-willed further, this is just a stage that needs to be experienced.

During the crisis of three years, the child for the first time discovers that he is a person, just like his parents and other people.

Often it is at this age that the pronoun "I" appears in the child's speech (so well-known to parents "I myself").

The child seeks to imitate adults in everything, to literally repeat all their actions. Which sometimes makes mom nervous. Parents are familiar with hysterics because the child was not allowed to cut bread, iron the linen, or perform other "dangerous" action for him, which adults can, but he is not. But he, too, considers himself an adult. And the child is angry. And it can be understood. Just imagine that you are constantly forbidden to do what you really want. It is important here not to stop the baby, not to punish him, but to offer a job that is within his power (for example, to serve his mother underwear, fold it) or buy a toy iron. I understand perfectly well that sometimes mom is in a hurry or is not in the mood, but you should not offend the baby with words:

"I will do everything myself, you only interfere, go play in your room"

After all, it is at this age that it is so important for a child to feel his significance as a helper, a person who is able to do something on his own. The most important thing for parents is to accept that their child has matured a little and there should be more equality in the relationship with the baby than before.

The child will be pleased if you take into account his opinion, ask about his desires, negotiate with him. At this age, he may already have his own small responsibilities (for example, folding toys, helping his mother with something, cleaning his shoes with a damp cloth, and much more).

If you do not provide a child of this age with more freedom and independence, then it will be difficult to go through the stage of three years, the child will be stubborn, will do everything in spite, be capricious, behave aggressively and so on, in general, he will insist on his right to “be an adult”.

From preschooler to schoolchild

Like any other, a seven-year crisis is a stage that a child needs to go through for normal development. Of course, it is much more useful when it is relatively "painless" for both the child and the parents. And this is, first of all, the task of the latter.

Symptoms:

Often, parents begin to notice changes in their child's behavior already in the older group of kindergarten (at the age of six).

1. These changes can be manifested in capriciousness, frequent antics, demeanor (children begin to speak with mannerisms, gesticulate, move, dress). There is a feeling that the child is pretending to be a jester. Often parents notice that the child does not seem to hear them, does not respond to questions and requests - this is also one of the symptoms. The child may even challenge the request, refuse to comply. A frequent argument in a dispute is comparing oneself with older brothers and sisters:

“Why can't she sleep, but I can't? I'm big too!"

2. Also, one of the symptoms of the crisis is the emergence of cunning, violation of parental guidelines in a latent form. The trick is, as a rule, playful. For example, a child does not wash his hands before eating, but simply spends some time in the bathroom, then comes out and says that he washed them. Parents may perceive such situations as cheating, fearing that the habit will become ingrained and their child will grow up to be a cheat. You should not do this, in this case, the trick is only a temporary symptom. You can express your dissatisfaction in a mild form if the child too often resorts to this trick.

3. Often at this age there is special attention to their appearance. There are often arguments in the bedroom in the morning when the child does not want to wear the clothes offered by the mother.

4. As a rule, children of this age want more independence, they can spend more time alone, they want to do some housework that they have not done before.

5. Children start thinking, talking and worrying about school. Will they cope with the assignments, will the teacher be strict, how will all this happen, will I find friends, etc. It happens that parents also experience significant anxiety about the appearance of a new status (student) in their child. Unfortunately, this anxiety is very easily transmitted to children. Very often, parents with children come to a psychologist during this period, because he will help the child's readiness for school to determine and reassure the parents.

Seven Years Crisis Resolution

For children ready for school, the beginning of learning activities gradually leads to the resolution of the crisis of seven years. The child acquires a new status, he is pleased that he is treated as an independent, adult person. He feels significant.

We observe the other side of the coin in children with a low level of psychological readiness for schooling. It happens that the symptoms, which were previously weakly expressed, manifest themselves in all their glory: disputes with parents begin, tantrums, whims, stubbornness.

This is a difficult period for a child, and parents should not think that they missed something and did something wrong. It's just that their children reach a certain level of psychological maturity a little later. And the child during this period needs the help and support of close adults.

Here I want to lead some general important rulesthat will help parents to establish communication with the child.

1. Do not interfere in the business that the child is busy with if he does not ask for help. With your non-interference, you will inform him: “You are all right! Of course you can handle it!"

2. Gradually, but steadily, relieve yourself of concern and responsibility for your child's personal affairs and pass them on to him.

3. Allow your child to face the negative consequences of their actions (or inaction). Only then will he grow up and become "conscious."

4. Addressing a child should not be impersonal, it is better to approach him, call him by name and invite him to dialogue. Let the child express their opinion.

5. Do not manipulate your child or allow yourself to be manipulated. Do not get involved in blackmail and do not blackmail.

Keep promises, don't let your words fly to the wind.