2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recommendations of a child psychologist to parents are a favorite topic of many Internet portals! Any typical situation becomes the reason for writing hundreds of articles. But studying too many tips takes too much precious time. Is not it?
After reading our new article on child psychology, readers will receive guidance on many aspects of parenting:
- What if the child often lies?
- What if the child does not want to learn?
- What if the child throws tantrums?
- What if the child withdraws into himself?
- What if the child is behaving aggressively?
The child is telling a lie
Even being under parental care, a small person may feel dissatisfaction with life. Fantasy or lies help him to protect what is dear to him, what he already possesses, and in other cases - to get what is lacking.
Let's remember together, for example, how many negative emotions reprimands from our superiors bring us. A sharp remark is a serious cause of stress!
An adult, if the internal kettle starts to boil, can quickly change jobs, and children most often have nowhere to run away - they are totally dependent on their parents. To avoid punishment (stressful situation), you have to invent a lie, in other words, to defend against the threat.
If the child often lies, hiding the truth from adults, then the main recommendation of the child psychologist will sound like this: "Create an atmosphere of acceptance and trust for the child!"
What does it mean to create a trusting atmosphere?
- sanctions must be replaced by dialogue
- tell the truth to your child, at least in terms that are appropriate for his age
- honesty cannot be punished - do not scold a child after admitting a mistake
- accept the child's values, show what is on his side
- not catch the child at every step, playing the role of an investigator
- never say phrases like “you are lying again (again, constantly)!”, “you are a liar,” etc.
- give your child a personal space, be sensitive to the world of childhood
- to love means to love, despite the mistakes, but you should not hide your feelings if the child's behavior upsets loved ones
The child does not want to study
Quite often, parents have to deal with the child's refusal to attend lessons at school. But the reluctance to learn is not always associated with the laziness of the student. Quite often, the teacher's behavior kills educational motivation, and the ridicule of classmates makes the child dodge as he pleases, but escape from the atmosphere of hatred. But the main enemy of the desire to learn is the ambition of the parents, if he gets bad grades, he loses the support of loved ones.
Parents need to accurately place accents in the education of their child. Even if educators are headlong in pursuit of academic achievement, grades reflect the achievements that students have already achieved. Dignity, but inferiority! Therefore, parents are wrong who, following the teachers, put pressure on their children. It is much more important to maintain a child's cognitive interest than to take care of formal success. Can you imagine the state of an adult, day after day doing boring monotonous work that has long lost its meaning? It is much worse for schoolchildren … In addition, knowledge acquired by force is most quickly forgotten, without bringing benefit. Grades help students set goals for themselves, as well as apply strength to obtain the desired results, but they are not at all the measure of the child's personality.
What does it mean to correctly place accents in the education of a child?
- analyze how suitable the student is the curriculum according to which he is studying
- understand how safe the educational space is for a child
- if schooling is not suitable for any reason, consider alternatives - home schooling, external studies
- highlight school subjects that should be given more energy
- understand what exactly motivates the child in the learning process
- think about whether the child has time for his own hobbies, communication with friends
If you would like to learn more about how to behave in the event of children's refusals to attend classes, read the article "A child does not want to go to school: what should parents do?"
The child throws tantrums
Sometimes a small child is not able to cope with the surging emotions, throwing a tantrum on his parents. Strong crying, desperate screams, banging with fists on the table, loud stomping - this behavior makes adults quit their business, rushing to help. It would seem that support is near, but the hysteria is intensifying even more. Why is this happening and what to do? What recommendations can you give?
Children are most susceptible to whims when the age of 1, 5 to 3 years old - tantrums can happen up to ten times a day. With this behavior, babies, who have not yet learned to express emotions in a “peaceful” way, indicate to adults what worries them. For example, if a caring mother wrapped the child too tightly before a walk, and now he is stuffy. Sometimes tantrums are just a way to get the thing you like.
Children's tantrums - how should parents behave?
- make sure that the environment surrounding the child is comfortable for him
- remember that a child may well be seriously upset about a "trifle"
- pay attention to the well-being of the child
- do not give in to “blackmail” when, throwing a tantrum, the child begs for a toy, a treat, etc.
- teach a child to express their emotions using words
- pay enough attention to children, do not dismiss them, even if they are very busy with important things
- a child, especially at a younger age, needs emotionally rich communication with significant adults like air
The child is closed
Why do some children prefer to withdraw into themselves instead of interacting with peers? The reason may be the temperament of the child, or perhaps some deep problems that prevent you from finding companions in communication. Most often, the psyche of closed children is too sensitive in order to actively communicate with people. You should not impose on such a child a too fast pace of life, otherwise there is a risk that he will go even deeper into himself. The speed of work should not be too low, but it is necessary for the introverted child to be able to achieve success.
What can a child psychologist recommend to parents of an introverted child?
- do not put labels on the child ("uncommunicative", "unsmiling", etc.)
- maintain emotional contact
- Encourage the child to show feelings, be it sadness or joy
- an introverted child should know what loved ones really need, and also constantly receive confirmation of parental love - manifestations of care, affection, participation
- do not impose a pace of life that is too fast for the child, even if it concerns, for example, study
- show sensitivity and care when communicating with the inner world of the child, respect his values
- participate in the child's life: ask questions, play together, go for a walk
- do not give an introverted child to a children's team, where rivalry reigns
- expanding the social circle is useful, but close friends cannot be imposed
- make sure that the child does not have symptoms of overwork, fatigue, severe stress
The child is behaving aggressively
Is your child a fighter who does not allow his classmates to live in peace, not responding to the comments of teachers? Outbreaks of aggression happen if the parents did not teach their son or daughter to defend their position in time without harming the people around them. Along with tantrums, aggressive behavior is a way for a toddler to express unspoken feelings.
An important nuance that should be remembered by adults, whose child often behaves aggressively: it is necessary to learn how to separate feelings from behavior. It is natural to feel anger, resentment, irritation. Shouting, giving cuffs, breaking other people's things is bad, because such behavior harms other people.
If the aggression of a child at an older age is supported by the children's collective (for example, bullying of classmates who are not able to give back is popular), then explanations alone will not be enough. Think, is it possible that an educational environment that provokes anger in a child can become favorable for him? Shouldn't you leave a collective where hatred runs?
An aggressive team is not able to fulfill its developmental tasks, and its leaders most often show the rest of the group that it is possible to achieve success and become popular only by humiliating the weaker ones.
Recommendations of a psychologist-teacher for parents of an aggressive child:
- a small child can be switched to productive activities
- show your child calmer ways to resolve conflict
- the child should feel safe, know that he will be supported by loved ones
- discuss and condemn the child's actions, not his personality
- teach your child to talk openly about feelings
- you should not try to drown out the aggression of children by force, otherwise you can generate a reciprocal aggression
We are looking forward to hearing from readers on the topic of the published article.
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