Acquaintance. Psychology Principles You Can Use To Improve Your Familiarity

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Top ten motives for dating and creating love relationships:

• - Motives for love and marriage. (After some time, start a family).
• - The motives are mercantile. (Solve your financial, housing, career or study problems at the expense of a relationship partner).
• - The motives for the continuation of a kind. (Find the person with whom (or from whom) you can give birth to a child without creating a family).
• - Motives of self-affirmation. (Enjoy the fact that members of the opposite sex are happy to meet this person.)
• - The motives are sexy. (To release your sexual energy without burdening yourself with any obligations).
• - The motives are "healing". (Recover after tragically ended past love relationships. "Knock out one wedge with another wedge").
• - Motives for influencing the past or present partner. (Show and prove to your past or current partner that creating a successful love relationship is possible without him (her) …).
• - The motive of the need to match your environment. (You need to get acquainted and make friends, if only because everyone around you does this, and against the general background you don't want to be a "black sheep" and lag behind the team).
• - Motives of communication and life curiosity. (A person has a lot of free time, which has nowhere to do. Moreover, this time can be long, or maybe just half an hour before a new business meeting … Or one person “out of nothing to do” wanted to understand what the other person is, and communication then it turned into friendship …).
• - Motives for acquiring the necessary skills and "training" before future relationships and acquaintances. (Getting to know each other and starting to make friends, a person is just learning, as it were, "warming up" in front of those relationships that will already have a clearly defined love-family task).

As you can see, the number of motives for dating and creating love relationships is not so great. However, there are not so few of them! And this leads to a significant complication of the "procedure" of love acquaintance. Hence, it is important for everyone who wants to find a mate to know (especially for girls):

First. Do not take the "loss" of your new acquaintance (s) "at your own expense"! (Note: What the author will now talk about applies equally to women and men. Therefore, in order not to repeat myself, the author will give his generally universal advice, so to speak, “in a female format”. And he will do it simply because, according to the author's statistics, it is the ladies who are the main readers of books about love relationships. Therefore, they are most often wiser than men in this area of life …).

So let's get started. Girls and women are often perplexed: “What kind of strange creatures are these men ?! He came up to me, fell asleep with compliments, showed me off (gave me a lift) to my house, took my phone number, promised to call back and … took it and disappeared into nowhere! As if he had never existed at all, and I only dreamed of all this … But he showed such interest in getting to know each other! And in general, it seemed to me "very much even nothing" … Maybe it's all about me ?! Maybe it’s me so ugly and I don’t know how to behave properly when I meet you? How can I understand all this?"

“It's not about women, it's about men! Observations show:

When dating, the average man

almost always acts impulsively and very haphazardly

A man can have a very good wife (bride, girlfriend, mistress), not think "about anything like that", but it is still difficult for him not to express his admiration for some long-legged stranger and not write another one (on in fact, he absolutely does not need it!) phone …

Later, returning home and thinking of under what male name to encrypt the lady's name in his mobile phone, the man thinks: “Do I really need this new acquaintance? Now, if she pounced on me right in the car and raped me, maybe it would be worth thinking about something like that … At least for two or three evenings. And so, I already have a pretty decent girlfriend (wife) … Risking some relationships for the sake of others, probably, is still not worth it … Damn it pulled me to this acquaintance! I only lost time (burned gasoline, stood in traffic jams, was late for a meeting, etc.) … In general, okay … That's all we will end up with!"

Having made such a decision, a "decent" man throws your number somewhere in the trash can, erases it in the phone and immediately forgets about you … And sometimes he writes down your name on the phone so "encrypted" that later he himself cannot remember how he wrote you down and what is your real name. As you understand, it is very difficult to call you in this case. Saying "All-le …" and tensely thinking, how can I turn to you ?! This is not a man's business!"

The "indecent" man will nevertheless bring you into his phone, but if he does not call you back in the coming days or a week, after a week or a month, he can hardly remember how you looked, and decides to better call those whom he met about recently…

Well, if he still calls you, then a month later either you yourself do not remember him, or you will be offended that he was “underground” for so long, or your moral standards will not allow you to meet with someone who I called you only when I was decently "drunk", and behind his back the vulgar jokes of his friends are clearly heard (and rightly so, that your moral standards do not allow this!).

This is the situation in this matter. The truth of life is simple:

In about half of the cases, a man meets without knowing why

he does this, and does not plan to meet with you at all

Getting acquainted in this “strange” format, to put it mildly, which I personally call “acquaintance with undefined goals”, a man (or a woman who has everything exactly the same) still achieves seven goals at once (although he himself does not always understand this well):

Seven possible motives for male "dating with uncertain goals":

Motive number 1. "A Tribute to Fleeting Sexual Attraction"

The man obediently pays tribute to his sexual instinct to pay attention to all attractive females. As they say, he simply could not resist your external attractiveness (haircut, hair color, fashionable clothes, magnificent figure, slender legs, in the literal sense of the word "outstanding" bust, interesting pattern on tights, etc.). However, already an hour after your acquaintance, this instinct is curbed by the usual norms of social behavior and everything falls into place.

Motive number 2. "Let's amuse our own pride"

Getting acquainted, a man simply pleases his own self-esteem and tests his male ability to make acquaintances. He thinks something like this: "What a supermacho I am: no girl can refuse me!"

Motive number 3. "You need to enjoy life!"

Getting acquainted, a man receives positive emotions and simply enjoys life. The following thought arises in his head: “There are so many beautiful girls around! They give their phones! This is great! Life is Beautiful!.

Motive number 4. "Struggle to increase your own male prestige"

Men, unlike girls and women, are not shy about the very fact of a successful acquaintance. They need the whole world to know about it right there! Therefore, getting to know each other, a man raises his prestige in the eyes of his “sex comrades”. If the very moment of acquaintance was seen by one of your acquaintances - it's just great! This is a great occasion to later brag about this story somewhere in the bathhouse and confirm the veracity of your "hunting story" by the presence of a woman's name and phone number in your notebook.

A story about a successful acquaintance always evokes in a male society only universal admiration and … it doesn't matter at all whether a man will see this lady sometime else! The most beautiful thing has already happened!

Motive number 5. "There is something to fill your free time"

Getting acquainted, a man simply provides himself with something to do for those half an hour, an hour or even a whole evening that he has nothing else to do. So he can while away his free time before a business meeting or his lunch break, fill his evening with something "intriguing" while his girlfriend is preparing for the exam, having fun at the "bachelorette party" or left for another city.

Motive number 6. "Finding a fallback"

A man looks out in advance for himself a "fallback" in case his girlfriend (wife) leaves somewhere in the near future or their love relationship ceases forever and there is an urgent need to replace one person with another.

Motive number 7. "I want sex right now !!!"

Getting acquainted, a man leads a targeted search for a "girl of easy virtue" for the quick organization of sexual relations. If after the acquaintance the girl seems to the man “too complicated”, then everything will be limited to fleeting chatter and taking her home. The girl will wait for a new meeting, and the man mentally said goodbye to her …

What follows from all this?Yes, the fact that if your recently happened love acquaintance in a strange way "hangs" in the air - there is absolutely nothing to worry about! Moreover, there is nothing in this that could offend your feminine (or masculine - depending on who is reading now) pride!

After all, who told you that someone didn’t like you there? If we talk about men, most often it is quite the opposite! Having met for the sake of “naked sex”, having talked a little with a girl, a man thinks: “What a cool girl! I would be friends with such a friend … But I already have one girlfriend (wife) … Since I obviously "won't have easy sex" with this girl, it would be more correct to leave her alone and forget the phone number I just took. It will be better for both of us …”.

And if you add here such "purely everyday" circumstances as the fact that something happened to this man (with a car, at work, etc.), he got sick, went on a business trip, simply forgot or lost your number, you it should become finally clear:

The strange disappearance of a new acquaintance (oh) is not at all

a reason to subject yourself to self-criticism and excite

own pride. Refusal of one of the parties to continue only

that the acquaintance that has arisen is nothing more than a "working moment" of love

dating, "idle" of the big flywheel of Love

This is how it should be treated! And it doesn't matter who is reading these lines now - a man or a woman …

Second. Do not create conditions for your loved one to get to know someone else

Love acquaintances are not only about finding a new person and a new love-family Hope. Quite often it is also the signing of a “death sentence” to current relations, which instantly turn into “past” ones.

If we take all those love acquaintances "with a living friend (husband) or an acting girlfriend", which in the future lead to the formation of all kinds of "love triangles" and "love squares", for one hundred percent, then the three largest "groups of acquaintances":

Love dating statistics leading to adultery

If we take those surveyed "cheaters" who met a new person for themselves while he (a) still maintained a love relationship with another partner for one hundred percent, then you can see the following:

30% of "cheaters" and "cheaters" meet at the moment when they … while away the time waiting for their current partner (!!!)

Men get to know each other when their girlfriends or wives are sitting at the hairdresser, in the nail salon, sunbathing in solariums, standing in lines at banks (usually to pay for utilities), "for ten minutes" they run to visit their friends, "for half an hour" finish your business at work, etc.

Girls and women get to know each other when they slowly (there is a small margin of time!) Go to meet their men from gyms, shaping clubs, tanning salons, beauty salons, when they stand somewhere at stops (or on the side of the road) waiting a friend trapped in a traffic jam, when there is still half an hour to go shopping before the next date (or meeting on duty), etc. etc.

Note: This type of dating cheating is more than logical! Think for yourself: people are dressed in the best clothes (there is a date ahead!), In a good mood, they are in no hurry, there are no thoughts about work or study in their heads, etc. As they say, God himself commanded to pay attention to such … Here are some who do!

30% of “cheaters” and “cheaters” get acquainted at the moment when serious quarrels take place between them and their partners (husbands, wives) and for some time no one wants to take the first step towards reconciliation

It was at this time that a banal question most often arises in my head: "Where to go, where to go …".

30% of “cheaters” and “cheaters” themselves show the initiative of acquaintances (or girls begin to dress brighter and thereby attract the attention of “outsiders” men) when they become completely clear about the whole “hopelessness” of existing relationships

Agree - this is more than terrible statistics! Terrific scary! Creepy even for the author himself, who revealed it …

And if you take it seriously, I strongly advise you the following:

- know the love expectations of your loved one;

- always justify them;

- never be late for meetings and dates;

- best of all - come to meetings and dates not "end-to-end", but in advance. So you can prevent someone from taking advantage of your absence …;

- while solving some of your own everyday problems, try to keep your loved one somewhere nearby and in your line of sight. And then, as they say, "the hour is not even" …;

- do not quarrel with your loved one over trifles;

- if you still had to quarrel - do not delay with reconciliation! In half an hour, call and honestly admit that you are very bad without him (her). Perhaps this very act will save your relationship and save your partner (or even yourself!) From "situational betrayal."

That, in fact, is all that the author wanted to talk about in this chapter.

I hope that dear readers were able to understand that, in addition to the above ten main motives for dating, there is also the most terrible one - the eleventh: Acquaintance "out of nothing to do"!

Acquaintance with vague motives on the principle of "nothing to do"

is that terrible "sword of Damocles", which all

time hangs over the emerging love relationship

Know this. Be fully aware of this. Protect yourself and your loved one from such an acquaintance "from nothing to do"! Eliminate most of the "empty time gaps" from your life and someone else's. Agree: when we are always late somewhere, the likelihood that not so much needed love acquaintance will take place is very small …

there is one more motive, probably the most terrible -: Acquaintance "out of nothing to do"!

Acquaintance with vague motives on the principle of "nothing to do"

is that terrible "sword of Damocles", which all

time hangs over the emerging love relationship

Know this. Be fully aware of this. Protect yourself and your loved one from such an acquaintance "from nothing to do"! Eliminate most of the "empty time gaps" from your life and someone else's. Agree: when we are always late somewhere, the likelihood that not so much needed love acquaintance will take place is very small … Best regards, Andrey Zberovsky