2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Top ten reasons men are afraid of becoming a pawn in a woman's love game:
Reason # 1. A man in himself is very careful, tries to insure himself in everything and always know for sure: who and what wants from him (from communicating with him)
Accordingly, having started a love relationship with you, such a man literally from the first minutes of your communication begins to be tormented by the question: “I wonder what goals she sets for herself:
- just relax for two or three days off;
- get new sexual sensations;
- to get a friend for communication and spending time together for six months or a year, until someone else better and richer turns up;
- use me to solve their financial problems (or employment);
- create a serious love relationship with the prospect of starting a family in two to three years;
- get married at an accelerated pace under the slogan: "Give a wedding within a year!"
And until he decides that he understands what is on your mind, such a man will not take a single step that he may consider reckless.
Reason # 2. A man by his nature is a clear leader and therefore he may not really like the fact that it was you who took the initiative in your love acquaintance
Reason number 3. The man categorically does not like that it is you who always dictate to him where and how you will spend your common evenings
In this case, a man may begin to assume that you are trying to "drive him under your heel", in the long term you want to completely subjugate and "build" him, dream of becoming the head of a future family. If a man grew up in a complete family, where the leader was still a man, most likely, he will immediately decide that such life prospects are not for him, he will cool down to you and gradually disappear behind a screen of excuses that he is very busy.
Reason number 4. The man feels a little uncomfortable because your acquaintance happened according to the "couple for couple" scheme: he and his friend immediately met you and your girlfriend. He sees that the relationship in a pair "his friend - your girlfriend" is not very sticky, admits that they can be interrupted at any moment and then he will have to choose: either maintaining a strong male friendship, or relations with you. Moreover, he does not yet know what you want from him.
Reason number 5. The man met you, succumbing to your beauty, values you very much, but at the same time he knows for sure that he does not intend to start a family for at least another three to five years. As a result, he painfully thinks: will you survive this entire period of indefinite waiting or not?
His doubts lead him to the idea that it is better to quietly wind up the relationship even before sex, rather than create intimacy, fall in love with you even more, then lose you and then suffer very, very much because of this …
Reason number 6. Your boyfriend knows that he has to serve in the army or a very long business trip (many years of study in another city). Again, he does not believe that the girl can be so faithful that she will be able to avoid all the temptations of life and wait for his return. So he thinks: "Do I need to think about everything later, be jealous and suffer: where is she, what is she doing and, most importantly, with whom is she doing all this ?!"
Reason number 7. A man is sure that the development of love relationships at this period of his life will bring him too many obligations and prevent him from making a successful career
(As a rule, this is observed at the age of 18-30 years. However, it happens at any other age, but much less often.)
Reason number 8. The man admits that the accelerated manifestation of your sympathies (you yourself kissed him on the cheek at the end of the first date) is primarily due to your desire to use him as a sponsor
(As a rule, if the man (or his parents) is wealthy, and you are much poorer.)
Reason number 9. A man is afraid that if intimacy suddenly happens between you, then your mother will come to him and find out for how long to order a wedding
(It is a common occurrence if a girl is between 16 and 20 years old and she had the stupidity to tell her friend that she has a very strict mother who does not allow her anything at all. He is especially unpleasant about threats from the police or the court …)
Reason number 10. If your friend once had an unsuccessful experience of communicating with a mentally unbalanced girl (and there are a lot of such around), who, after the termination of a love relationship, bothered him for literally years, or he became a victim of intimate blackmail (give me money for an abortion (often fictitious), otherwise I will file a complaint with the police !!!) - these episodes in his personal biography can not only cause a certain sexual intimidation, but even lead a man to impotence.
As already mentioned, this list of reasons is by no means complete and exhaustive. However, it is already quite enough so that dear readers do not commit one of the most painful female mistakes.
One of the most serious and common female mistakes
is the simplification of male love and sexual behavior
And therefore, it is you, having set yourself the task of creating a love or intimate relationship with a man over twenty-five years old and having a higher education, in no case make such a mistake!
The easiest way to prevent a woman's mistake
simplification of male love and sexual behavior is
providing your friend with at least the most general information about
what do you want from him
This is what we will talk about now in the practical recommendations.
Practical advice
First. Answer male leading questions
Those men who think something like the one just shown above, starting their new love or intimate relationships, are very fond of asking their girlfriends so-called leading questions, such as:
- But what would you like to achieve in life?
- What is more important to you - career, money or children and home comfort?
- What are your ideas about a successful life based on: the help of your parents, a successful marriage or your own career?
- How old would you like to get married?
- Who, in your opinion, should be the initiator in creating a family: a man or a woman?
- Would you agree to get married if such an offer was received right now?
- For what man and with what character traits and level of material well-being would you dream of getting married?
- What do you think, should a man support his girlfriend financially?
- Do you think equal relations between men and women are possible?
- Who do you think should be the leader in the family and in relationships: a man or a woman?
- What do you think: is it possible to live a whole life having sex with only one person (and not cheating on him)?
- After what time, in your opinion, partners can start intimate relationships?
- How long can you live without sexual relations?
- whose duty is protection in sexual relations: men, women or both partners?
- Who is responsible if the partners have flown in: a man, a woman, or both partners?
- Do parents have the right to interfere in the love and intimate relationships of their children?
- Do you complain to your parents about the behavior of your partners?
And so on and so forth.
As you can imagine, all these questions are not at all so harmless as it might seem to someone at first glance … Often it is your answers to them that determine how another person will form his opinion about you, whether he wants to build with you love or family relationships. And that is why all your attempts to somehow get away from discussing such (and similar) questions will automatically be credited to you in the negative (She is definitely twisting something there!), And the answers received from you will become the subject of a very, very serious analysis.
So, based on the reality and significance of your answers (or refusals to answer) for the fate of your relationship, as an author and a psychologist, I strongly advise you to ANSWER them! At the same time, I do not at all urge you to answer honestly. I am not calling for one simple reason:
The goals of love and intimate relationships in the process of realizing themselves
these relationships can undergo very significant changes
And this is completely normal
For example, planning at first a not very long love affair with a pronounced emphasis on intimate relationships and, accordingly, answering the question of your friend: "What do you think: is it possible to live a whole life having sex with only one person?" phrase: “I think it’s impossible!”, later you may regret it very much … What if you fall in love with this man and start dreaming of marrying him? But he will remember that just one sexual partner for life is an absolutely impossible task for you, and therefore everything to think and doubt …
Tell me and yourself: does this happen in life ?! Yes, it does not just happen, but all the time!
Based on all this, I strongly advise you:
- Firstly, however, always answer your friend's leading questions;
- Secondly, do it in a more or less understandable way, give your friend that comprehensive information that is so necessary for him for love and sexual liberation;
- third, answer as you find it most beneficial for yourself.
At the same time, admit the likelihood of a change in your position in the process of communication. (For example, almost all girls first tell their partners that they are not jealous at all, but then they realize with horror that they are not just jealous, but very jealous!)
Second. Get ahead of the male lead questions with your own
Knowing that at the beginning of a love relationship, men almost always try to find out from their girlfriends the basics of their views on life, sex and family, you may well break your dependence on specifically masculine formulations (after all, you are an adult, modern and strong lady!) and start asking such questions yourself. If at the same time you do not forget to say that the man's answers are extremely necessary for you in order to regulate your behavior specifically for him (the best, the smartest, the most daring and the sexiest), the man will not just give you his answers, but he will also be imbued with a proud realization that he is definitely the undisputed leader in these relations and the steering of your joint future! And all this will pour water on your personal happiness mill.
Third. Talk to your friend more often about general topics
My long-term professional observations show:
One of the most serious problems of love couples is
that people can be together for months and years and at the same time completely
not to know about each other's life and love goals
For example, a 20-year-old girl began to be friends with a 23-year-old guy. They have been friends for three years. She is graduating from university and quite reasonably asks if her friend is planning to start a family. He replies that he plans, but only in five years. The girl is faced with a difficult choice: to wait for these years and all the time to be afraid that her partner will find someone fresher for himself, or to end a hopeless relationship and look for some other option.
Or here's another. She met him when she was 25 and he was 30. He recently divorced and began to be friends with a new lady with ardor. After two years of relationship, having already moved to live with him and even planning to give birth to a joint child, she suddenly finds out that he did not like the last family experiment so much that he is no longer going to fix his status in the registry office and intends to live exclusively within the framework of a civil marriage.
The question is, who is to blame in these cases? And both sides of the love process are to blame - both men and women. And all their fault and trouble lies only in the fact that once, starting their love relationship, both partners:
- either they were ashamed to ask each other about life and love plans;
- either naively put their own ideas about a joint future in the head of a partner, acted, as computer scientists say, by default.
And the way out in this case is more than simple:
The best way to avoid omissions and misunderstandings of life
and the love goals of a relationship partner are communication on general topics
It is this completely natural communication that allows you to:
- learn about the various features of your partner's approaches to love and family relationships without much hesitation. (You can speak as if in the third person.)
- give information about your own views on life and relationships to your partner and thereby help him show his true attitude towards you and your relationship;
- saving you from all sorts of love mistakes and traveling “on the wrong life train, which you would like” and significantly saves your personal time.
Agree, all this is more than significant!
In conclusion, I want to tell you one more thing. No need to think that a clear statement to a man of his life, love and sexual principles and approaches is necessary only to overcome all kinds of male phobias! You do not need to think that all this, taken together, will only help your male partner to finally feel like a leader in a relationship, psychologically liberate himself and no longer be afraid that he will later pay for the manifestation of his male attention to you with nervous jumping when someone knocks. at his door! You don't have to think so simply because:
The lady receiving a particular male reaction to her answers
(to his “urgent questions)” is primarily beneficial to her
It is beneficial because, having the reaction of her friend, the lady:
- gets a more or less clear idea of what kind of person he is;
- correlates his ideas about life, love, sex and family with his own, determines the degree of conflict or comfort of their future joint communication;
- begins to better understand what awaits her next to this man;
- overcomes certain OWN female phobias.
So, based on this, we can unequivocally say the following:
While a girl or woman tells her
friend information about himself and thereby helps him
overcome his male love-sexual phobias,
at the same time she defeats her own
Isn't that great ?! Of course it's great!
Remark
Mutual clarification of their love goals by love partners
relationship allows you not only to reduce the likelihood of an empty
waste of life time, but also removes all those possible fears,
that prevent men and women from showing attention to each other
In general, know how with your frankness to carefully remove those psychological stoppers that almost always cause us fear of being misunderstood or misunderstood. If you are embarrassed to talk about yourself, speak in the third person. Speak and remember:
The woman's honest desire to lean
to a strong male shoulder almost always stimulates
male love and sexual activity
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