Balance Of Trust

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The balance of trust / distrust plays a fundamental role in the regulation of relationships; without trust, it is impossible to build emotionally close relationships, to feel satisfied with them.

Based on the measure, as one of the properties of trust [1], let us consider the possible options for the relationship between trust in oneself and trust in a partner.

1. Both partners trust each other equally. In this case, communication, contact between them takes place in the form of an equivalent dialogue.
2. Each participant in a relationship trusts himself much more than his partner. In this case, communication is based on play, confrontation, competition and opposition.
3. Both partners trust each other, not trusting themselves. In such a situation, there is a mutual shift of responsibility on each other, as in ping-pong.
4. One partner trusts both himself and the partner equally, and the other does not trust the partner, but trusts only himself. In this form of interaction, various kinds of manipulations arise, aimed at coercion on the part of the one who trusts only himself.
5. One partner trusts himself and the Other equally, while the Other trusts the first more than himself. In this case, the second partner gives the first more value, and the responsibility is shifted.
6. One of the partners trusts himself more than the Other, and the second, on the contrary, trusts the first more than himself. With such an imbalance in trust, there is dependence on the one who relies only on himself, while the other allows himself to be used as a passive object.

Thus, only in the first version is it possible to build direct interaction, direct dialogue. In all other cases, relationships are based on manipulation - either active or passive.

The phenomenon of trust itself contains both rational and irrational components. Rational is based on knowledge about the object: about its reliability, past deeds and actions, as well as on the unity and similarity of views, life principles, values, worldview. The irrational component is embedded in the prefix and root of this concept. "Before" is what is before, this is what precedes, this is both hope and chance, which can open the door to faith itself, which is an irrational concept, which means accepting possibility for reality.

Mistrust is phenomenologically manifested in the expectation that they will not do to me the way I want it, they will harm me, I will be rejected, betrayed, abandoned. Typically, this attitude-attitude is the result of previous relationship experiences. In emotional closeness and trust, all previous relationship experiences, your own personality and the personality of your partner, are manifested.

In the experience of a distrustful person, one can find deep psychological trauma received in parent-child relationships, in relationships with peers, friends and the opposite sex. The need for security in such a relationship has not been met. The experience of the past becomes an obstacle to a relationship of trust.

However, at the point of the present, in the moment “here and now,” each of us has a choice that can open the door to a new, better and more fulfilling future. Helping a psychologist to follow these choices can be valuable and helpful.

When writing the article, the following materials were used:

1. Skripkina, T. P. Psychology of trust (theoretical and empirical analysis) / T. P. Skripkin. - Rostov n / a: Publishing house of the Russian State Pedagogical University, 1997.-- 250 p.