2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The stage of service is the first stage of true love, because before that there was no love. This is a radically different approach to the development of relationships. Partners begin to understand their responsibilities, thinking not about what the other partner owes him, but about what he can do and give to his beloved. If at the previous stages the motives were quite egocentric, the partners demanded something from each other, then here the idea appears to serve the partner, to do something pleasant to a loved one, without requiring gratitude. And most importantly, it happens consciously.
Before you read on, I would like to draw your attention to the very concept of “serving a partner”. It’s not just doing what we want, but learning to serve our partner the way it suits him. I recommend Gary Chapman's book Five Love Languages. In it you will find a detailed description of the interactions, interactions (as they say in transactional analysis) through which people most feel that they are loved. This will help you personally, in the realization that your partner's love is for you, and also you will be able to analyze your life partner.
So what is important at this stage:
- Finally, you see that next to you is not your copy, but a completely different person. This personality has its own character traits, habits and tastes.
- You again (as in the first stage) begin to see the merits of each other. Moreover, each partner sees their own shortcomings.
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The couple understands that they can do more and better for each other. Thoughts switch from “what my partner owes me” to “what I owe him / her”. Focusing on one's responsibilities develops a couple. Respect is born here
- Those who believe that the active sex life of a couple ends in the first two stages is mistaken. The best sex partners experience precisely when they better understand their own body and their partner, when they fully trust him. Then the female sexuality and the sexuality of the man are revealed as much as possible.
- Couples who broke up after the previous period, reuniting and deciding to go through this stage, enter into the most lasting and close relationships, because they remember that they were on the verge of parting.
What to do:
- Continue to accept each other as a whole, which has its own strengths and weaknesses, pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses.
- Continue dialogue and negotiate. Don't be shy and see how your partner will react to showing feelings. Communicate that you need space and set a special time for that.
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Communicate when you want to show affection for your partner and when you need tokens yourself.
- Communicate the reunion and renew the relationship with love and warmth, even if the relationship scares and worries you.
- Do not reproach or get angry, deal with your anxiety yourself, rely on intuition. Be honest about your feelings, but don't be overly emotional if you don't need to.
- SERVE one another. He cares about her well-being, and she about his. He tries to do the best for her, and she for him.
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