2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Why is it easier for many to have sex than to try to be intimate?
⠀ In moments of intimacy, we are as open as possible. This means they are incredibly vulnerable. We become very vulnerable and remember well how painful they could have done to us at such moments. Believe me, this is not forgotten, no matter how long ago it was! It can be repressed into the unconscious, but automatically turn on the shells that protect our soul from repeated blows.
⠀ If in such moments of trust, when you are with an open mind, you were ridiculed, deceived, criticized, not taken seriously or ignored, the desire to open your soul is discouraged forever.
⠀ And the closeness is really difficult to express. Scientists say that the level of arousal from intimacy and the level of sexual arousal in humans are approximately the same.
⠀ But in sex it is clear what to do at what stage, and where it will lead. And here? No instructions. There are no guarantees. And it's not just to feel something for a person and not understand what it is. I would like some kind of clarity. And, secondly, for those who have had a traumatic experience of intimacy, it is easier to merge everything into sex and calm down. The more primitive, the easier it is. Like, we are all animals in some way. Male and female. But in fact, two loneliness met …
⠀ Sometimes you can just be silent together, experiencing this amazing feeling of kinship and happiness. You can talk about the innermost, share your feelings, talk about what is scary or painful, about what warms and gives meaning. ⠀
There are no “standard” or “correct” reactions in proximity. It is important to just be yourself, without masks, to be as open to another as possible. I know it's not easy. But nothing is more important in a relationship.
So it's worth the risk.
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