Loneliness Next To Mom

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Where does the feeling of loneliness come from inside a person? Or a state of rejection? Especially when a person comes to a new team or a family are husbands? It seems that nothing bad has happened yet, but the premonition is already gnawing.

In popular psychology, they write a lot that a person needs to develop his communication skills, work with his fears and anxiety, and most importantly - supposedly in the norm, a person should not feel rejected, and if this is still present, then something is wrong with him … All this plunges people with a sense of loneliness into even more despondency.

But in fact, the causes of the trauma of loneliness lie at a deeper level. And it is, of course, not only a matter of communication or human fears.

Bert Hellinger believed that the movement of the soul can be called "primary love", it is strong and unconditional. A deep emotional bond develops between the child and the mother. And the interrupted movement of love is the rupture of the emotional connection of the child with the mother, less often with the father.

We are all born with the ability to feel all feelings, from love to rage. Our contact with the body, with our soul and ourselves is disturbed by the severe and deep emotional trauma of rejection. We make many choices in our life at a deep unconscious level, where our strategies and behavior patterns are formed, our Shadow lives there.

Not every child manages to adapt to the mother who was given to him by fate. Many people get stuck in a state of loneliness for life, get along with it, get used to it, they build their lives with loved ones and in society in such a way that they again and again experience the trauma of rejection. Over and over again they confirm their long-term choice to suffer, to live with inner pain and resentment, instead of looking for solutions to them.

Reasons for breaking a child's emotional bond with their mother or father:

• Mom or Dad thought about an abortion or wanted a miscarriage
• Parents were in conflict all the time
• Mom or Dad is very upset about the pregnancy
• Unsuccessful childbirth (medical error, prematurity, etc.)
• Mom couldn't breastfeed her baby
• Mom developed postpartum psychosis after childbirth
• Death of a mother after childbirth or at an early age of a child
• The physical absence of a mother until the child is 3 years old (illness, early departure to work, etc.)
• Lack of emotional contact between mom and dad with the child
• Emotional coldness of mom or dad (schizophrenia, psychopathy, emotional trauma, immersion in inner grief or suffering in parents)

The consequences of the interrupted movement of love a lot, here are some of them:

• Self-doubt
• Distrust
• Feeling of inner unworthiness of love, money, abundance, success
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of influence on your life
• Addiction to someone else's opinion, influence, alcohol, drugs, shopaholism, workaholism
• Emotional codependency
• Other people's interests are always a priority, not your own, etc.

Of course, the interrupted movement of love is not a sentence, although many people live as if nothing can be changed. Yes, we will not remake mom or dad, we will not fix the past, but we can very much touch and establish contact with our inner healing power.

All that is needed for this is to allow yourself to take the risk of starting to move towards yourself.