2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
16 years
- What are you spinning in front of the mirror? You shake your bodies. Only sixteen, and fat has grown, her breasts are shaking here … Better if I washed the floor - helped my mother than chew chips. Who will marry you so fat, then I'll go and light a candle.
- What are you whining, you fool? Mom is joking. I have you nervous, crying from everything, you don't understand jokes. And the fat is too much, and the nose is too long.
26 years
- What froze in front of the mirror? Do you think there is something to look at? Two years after the wedding, and the sides have grown … Go away from the mirror, and take off your red dress, do not disgrace yourself. You are too chubby, size XL - you are my pig! Who do you want besides me?
Are you drinking and crying again? Are you completely stupid ?! You don't understand normal humor. You are too nervous! So your mom says she's too nervous!
You are too fat / thin, slow / fast, nervous / inhibited, too arrogant / modest, you have too long / short nose / legs / chest …
This is a collective example of a conversation, the wording and languages are different, the essence is the same. The woman is given a hidden message "You are bad for me in the way you are. Change, endure, be submissive, work for me. Do not drive me into my vast shame. Let me drain my accumulated aggression on you. Otherwise, you will be left alone and nobody you will need "If a woman tries to defend herself, then I hang the label" TOO "on her. Too nervous, too angry, too sensitive. Advanced people can still feed a woman diazepam with valerian, so that she is calmer and does not snap. And such women live, seizing barbs, they are forbidden to even think about themselves. Over time, they begin to talk about themselves, "I am too much" and believe and do everything that is said in the message - endure, work like a horse, accept the toxic emotions of relatives.
Quite often they find similar husbands. Such familiar, critical ones. "Oh, my new boyfriend is so caring. He came to pick me up for a walk, Just looked at my blouse and said - change, this one makes you look fat …" The girl is cute and familiar, although this phrase is the "first swallow" of the critic. In a relationship, such a man will gradually begin to give a message too: "You are bad for me as you are. Change, endure, be submissive, do your homework, Do not drive me into my vast shame. Let me drain my accumulated aggression on you. Be patient. unpleasant moments in sex. Otherwise, you will be left alone and no one will need you"
If she is lucky, the woman can go to psychotherapy in order to “not be too nervous” and “improve herself for Him” “to find myself a sense of humor” … If she is lucky, the woman gradually realizes that she is not too nervous or angry. that it really hurts, it really hurts to endure criticism and devaluation, to accept other people's toxic emotions in. She changes, begins to see her beauty and talents, to protect her personality.
And what about the critics? They first increase the volume of criticism in order to stop the changes, and then they themselves begin to change themselves, learn to communicate without criticism. Or they leave, making room for new contacts.
It doesn't happen too much. There is a personality as it is, Beauty consists of appearance and character. If you learn to be happy, then appearance is very beautiful. And there are people around who like it just like that.
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