Why Are We Afraid To Be Wrong

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Now we come to the realization that our mistakes are life experiences. The one who does nothing is not mistaken. This is what the Internet tells us with different posts, psychologists, people with whom we share our mistakes.

Despite this, many people continue to fear making mistakes. It is very scary to make the wrong choice in life, to make a decision that turns out to be a failure as a result, and that it is even more difficult to make mistakes at work.

If each of us analyzes his life, he will understand that, in fact, we were punished for mistakes. Childhood, school, university, work - these are those periods of life in which we formed approximately the following internal attitude: a mistake is equal to punishment.

Why did this happen?

• Little inquisitive child. He discovers the world for himself, he still does not understand that there are some actions that cannot be done. He does not yet know what words should not be spoken outside the family. Moreover, he was not told that there is something that is acceptable within the family, but unacceptable outside of it. For the child, everything that happens within the family also takes place outside of it. And so he did or said something, and his parents scolded him. The child did not quite understand what had happened and what he was to blame. These are the first encounters with errors.
• I think many of us have some kind of life story, as a result of which we got such an experience through a mistake.
• It's not even worth talking about school, there is a step left and right and you are already guilty and did something wrong.
• And at work, we plunge into the hot potato game. Nobody wants to be to blame. Even if these are not financial losses, everyone is safe and sound, there is very strong pressure. When I worked in an office, in international companies, there were so many examples when people were almost sent to correctional work for a mistake.
• In a relationship, we too would gladly shift the blame onto someone else.

Here are a couple of examples:

• The head of my manager issued yellow and red cards, reprimanded colleagues and accused me of lack of competence.
• In the event of a mistake, one of the colleagues always wanted to "close the noses" of the participants in the situation, and, as he jokingly said, "punish the culprit."
• At the annual performance appraisal, they constantly pulled out a list of mistakes, underestimated the score, and as a result, this influenced the increase in wages.
• My first manager, a newly-made manager, young and not quite experienced in communication, always found out who was to blame for mistakes and told this to the person himself and to all his bosses. And even the police would envy her tone and look when she asked the question "who is to blame".

Why am I all this? When mistakes are “hit”, they can hardly be regarded as something positive. In addition to the fact that it is unpleasant for yourself to do something wrong, society also puts pressure on.

How do I see the way out in this situation?

• I believe that it is necessary to discuss and not condemn.
• Not to punish, but to understand the motives of the person. How he thought and how he felt in the situation. Realizing that errors are not received intentionally. Therefore, at the moment of the situation, the person acted as he saw fit. At that moment, for him, the decision made, the action taken, was the most correct.

Learn to help each other in mistakes.