2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Take me as I am!
This demand often grows manipulatively from the popularized ideas of "unconditional love".
Which are usually simplified, perverted, misunderstood.
Love as a feeling - it is already unconditional. It either happened or not. Everything. And not because HE (some kind). And because YOU have acquired attraction, admiration, respect. You are capable of intimacy, ready for it.
Sometimes thanks to, sometimes contrary to (common sense, for example. Love is evil, you know).
As a rule, the statement "I am what I am" literally rushes into the face of a partner just when he is not ready to put up with unacceptable qualities and behavior.
In response to an indication that the partner has violated the boundaries, that his behavior is not acceptable when it is necessary to take into account the interests and needs of a loved one.
"I am what I am" - a message that "I will not take YOU into account in our relationship." Moreover, “my vile behavior is a test of love! After all, the one who truly loves, that is, of course, must accept me by anyone. Everything else is not real.
A person flaunts that "he is what he is" not at the moment when he discovers his own dignity and uniqueness. And most often, justifying their own vileness, nasty and unacceptable behavior.
"I am what I am" - behind this phrase is the cry of a baby: "I am. I was born. Find me and tell me that I am beautiful! Show me with your acceptance that I am unique and worthy to live in this world."
The mother's task is to accept and love her child. Anyone. Snotty and o * equal, beating in hysterics and smearing porridge on hair and wallpaper.
Another adult, if he is not your mother, is not ready and should not accept you as anyone. He has the right to choose himself.
Love as a feeling is unconditional. Equal adult relationships are not. They are due to many factors.
The mother's attitude is constant and static. Relationships between adults are interdependent dynamics: the behavior and attitude of one partner influences the behavior and attitude of the other. We change by interacting with each other, as we face the boundaries and needs of the other. We adjust our own behavior, habits, taking into account a nearby other loved one, his needs, boundaries, rights, desires. Relationships are a process. Interaction that is governed by rules, boundaries, agreements.
And, if a mother loves "what is," and cannot refuse a relationship with her own child, then
an adult is not obliged to accept another adult by anyone, especially with those poop that are demonstratively pulled out of their panties for the test of love.
It is natural for a person to develop when faced with the environment. Change, considering other people nearby. But, of course, not to please them - to understand the differences and see this fine line, to understand the essence of balance, is also the privilege of an adult.
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