2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
As a practicing psychologist working with families (parents + children), they often come to me with different questions. The last time there were more frequent questions about children's fears of water (reservoirs), fears of the bathroom and, in fact, washing their hair
My article will be about how to behave to parents (and what to do) when your child starts to have a hysteria before washing his head, the child refuses to soap, is afraid to go into the bath, is not allowed to wash.
The most important thing with which I start a dialogue with parents is information.
FEAR is a completely normal, basic feeling. Fear is instinctive, irrational (that is, it does not lend itself to control and self-hypnosis) and, as a rule, protects from something.
The FEAR of shampooing protects against unpleasant sensations. A similar fear, often arises from water or soap getting into the eyes, the child received unpleasant sensations in the form of burning, pain, unpredictability (for the child it was an unexpected experience) and security breaches (the child was helpless in this situation).
Therefore, it is important, VERY important, TO ACCEPT the child's fear.
Not to say "Well, what are you doing? There is nothing wrong here …", "Stop playing around …", "Stop inventing", etc.
This does not help the baby in any way (if there is such fear, when the child is more than 3-4 years old) to cope with panic, but only exacerbates the situation.
It is better to say that you understand and share his state, that you will be careful, careful and will voice all your actions (this helps the child to master the whole situation and understand what will be the next action).
To accept the child's fear is also to create favorable conditions for correcting the anxiety state (if we are talking about children where there is a fear of washing their hair, whose age is 1-3 years)
It is important to know that the fear of washing your hair at the age of 1-3 years is considered normal, age-related, and this means that no special actions are required from the parents. It is enough to accept the baby's fear, create comfortable conditions (I will write about them below) and be patient (without physical and psychological violence).
What recommendations I leave:
1. Get swimming masks, with or without tubes or goggles (like for a pool) - there are many options now. There are bright masks on sale for every taste. This will allow the child to protect their eyes
Recommended for children from 3 years old.
2. If the child is not afraid to go into the bath, and fear is associated only with washing his head - then let's have the opportunity to swim just like that. Very often, a parent is associated with body washing and bathing. Separate these two steps. Let the child enjoy the water, without the fear that he needs to wash (wash the body, wash the head)
3. "Protection for my peephole". This is a simple psychological trick available to parents: get a soft, cloth diaper (small size) that will be used by the child if the water runs on the face. The child will have protection (internal and external, in the form of an object) that he can wipe his face dry at any time.
4. Game therapy. Parents help the child to clarify-calm down-replay the situation of washing the head using the example of the child's favorite toys. A certain play situation is created in the family circle, in which the child goes through all the stages of washing his head (from buying shampoo to getting out of the bath). There is no limit to the imagination of parents!
5. The game "Stop". The simplest game that one boy suggested to me at the reception (I took this case as a way to help other children), which consists in learning to close your eyes tightly, close your mouth and just exhale. At the word "Stop", the child freezes (like a magic statue), gags his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut in the bathroom. At this point, the water is washed off.
6. Buy a swimming cap. For girls fashionistas, this is very important:) For boys, sold with a visor.
7. Buy bathroom paint tiles and make a "child's study" out of the bathtub (important for those who are afraid of it). Such paints are easy to wash, environmentally friendly, and the constant stay in the "office" for drawing allows you to slowly overcome fears
First, you let a child in clothes go there - just draw.
Then, after a while, you undress.
Then, pour water ankle-deep.
Then knee-deep.
When the child has mastered the process, pour water over it (while drawing) without interfering with the process.
With slow steps, you approach the adoption of shampooing.
Calmness and consistency are two friends of a confident parent.
Of course, psychological work with a family is largely individual.
And I have to delve into the living conditions, the rules of life, and sometimes the relationship within the husband and wife.
I wrote available recommendations.
In addition to following them, you can always contact a psychologist at your place of residence and get individual ways to overcome your child's fears.
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