Parting - "little Death" Or "long Way To The Beginning"?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This article is for those who have made the decision to part ways with a toxic partner, and even more so for those who have been abandoned like a boring toy.

I understand you well, because in my youth I was inclined to get into an addicted relationship, because I considered myself

• ugly
• imperfect
• not valuable

Notes of an Ugly Woman

For which she received a symmetrical answer from the Universe and suffered very deeply from this! So much so that at the age of 21, right after the first university, I went to "study to be a psychologist."

Psychology helped me understand the simple truth that beauty is not equal to personal happiness. And now I help my many clients understand this.

History knows many examples when far from the most beautiful women became muses of great creators!

Ugly Muses or How Self-Esteem Affects Life

The paradox of the situation is that

If you consider yourself ugly, you have ceased to be loved, not because you are ugly, but because you think so!

As a person who has gone through a terminal illness and as a woman who has gone through the trauma of rejection, I like to repeat the saying:

I have the right to do so, to be sure that this is exactly the case!

So where was the entrance to addicted relationships with men?

More often than not, in such a situation, it is worth investigating your relationship with your dad!

I had a good loving dad, but he "dumped" me when I was fifteen. He "went into death."

Mom always, directly or indirectly, told me that I was not good enough, that I

• clumsy
• too full
• unlucky

“You don’t step, don’t speak, you don’t know how”, “You are like that cow that grazes in the meadow”, “It’s not interesting to buy beautiful dresses on you, because they don’t sit on you”

Now my mother also reproaches me that I am too fat, although after treatment I have reached the complexion that she had when she was fifty years old.

And for forty years I was much slimmer than my mother was at that age, and all the same, I was somehow not that and even “vulgar”, “not worthy of serious deep love”.

Of course, my mother does not remember all this and completely denies that she said all this!

That is why before, I most often played the following scenario:

Easily attracted a man's attention, and when he became significant to me, the relationship deteriorated.

How can you avoid this?

First of all, stop taking other people's thoughts about you, as the ultimate truth!

I wrote how to do this in the article:

How to remove the "curse"? Psychological practice

And how to work out a relationship with mom, you can see here:

How to become a “good” mother to yourself? Inner Child Technique

Today we will work with dad and ask him for permission for happiness

1. Find a photo of your father at the age when you lost contact due to his departure or death. If there is no photo, try to imagine it
2. Retire and sit quietly in a comfortable chair. You can lie down and close your eyes.
3. Imagine that your father is sitting next to you and talk to him:

- Dad, I am glad that you were with me, because without you there would be no me - Dad, I forgive you for … - Dad, I am grateful to you for … - Dad, answer me the question: “Why did I need meeting with …? - Dad, let me be beautiful, because I am a part of you! - Dad, let me love and be loved, because it is important for our kind, even if my love will no longer bring continuation, my happiness will make everything a little happier- Your, loving daughter …