About Motherhood

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The woman's world is full of different roles. Mom, wife, daughter-in-law, friend, colleague, daughter, neighbor. No no. These are not different women. They are one and the same.

Each of these roles has a set of rules and regulations that the woman must follow. If mom, then caring; if a wife, then a loving and economic one; if a daughter-in-law, then submissive and meek, etc.

These rules are impressed into the subconscious from childhood. A young girl enters into adulthood with a set of mental attitudes of what can and cannot be done. A very unpleasant burden, I can tell you.

These behavioral prescriptions are very helpful in building feelings of guilt. Mom should be affectionate, kind, caring. The image of a woman with a healthy blush on her face, with warmth in her eyes, bending over the bed of her child and singing a lullaby immediately pops up in my thoughts.

But in life it is not so.

With tousled hair, dark circles under her eyes, this mother herself rushes from the child's bed to the kitchen. And there is still a walk and the arrival of the eldest son from school. With him, you need to have time to do all the lessons, make a craft. Oh yeah … and my husband must return soon, and he will probably ask for something to eat, but you, as usual, did not have time, since the younger one cannot get away with it. Clever books write that if a child is crying, then you can't give him a shout, you need to immediately pick it up so that he can feel the mother's warmth and smell.

Yes, everything is correct, and everything is clear, but…. Why can't I do it? Is there something wrong with me? And I'm not affectionate mom, because, no, no, and you break into a cry, and then you regret. After all, the eldest son is not to blame for my fatigue and the fact that my younger brother did not sleep all night and now my mother is like a shrew. And I'm a bad wife: I don't meet my husband in beautiful outfits, there are traces of the baby's belching on my dressing gown and dinner is not ready. It is better to keep silent about the order in the house.

But I'm a woman and I would like not to forget myself. But here, too, there are punctures. Okay, I'll take care of myself when I redo everything. And I also wanted to write an article for my site. But … this is generally later. But I'll do everything: I will separate the peas from the beans and you can go to the ball.

And affairs, as luck would have it, fill the entire space: he didn't remove the cup, he didn't wash the plate, and the baby whom you tried to put to bed for 2 hours, after 5 minutes of sleep again requires attention.

As they say, it's good to be on maternity leave: in the morning I got up and poured tea for myself, and drank in the evening.

What am I doing wrong? Why does everyone need my attention all day? Even a beloved cat begins to enrage when it rubs against its legs. I used to love her purring so much, but today she suddenly began to annoy.

Why does everyone need me? Well, do at least something yourself, have a conscience. I want to do a manicure, write an article, read a book and go shopping. One, without a stroller and children !!!

Continue further? Perhaps that's enough. And there is nothing to complain about. Is it really so bad that my children, husband and cat need me?

Yes, today the eldest son needs help with his lessons, answer all the questions, and an 11-year-old boy needs logical answers, not "I said so." But in a few more years he will move away from me, and I will already ask for his attention. I will call and ask where he is and with whom, when he will be at home, ate or not, how are you, etc. And, oh, how I do not want to feel unnecessary at this moment.

And the baby will grow up imperceptibly. Now he needs me like air. Yes, even if I do not sleep at night, even if I eat with one hand and cannot afford to eat whatever I want, since the baby is breastfed, but he needs me. They may frighten me that I will teach my son to be hands-on and thus spoil me, but how nice it is to listen to how he sniffs, how his cheek is pressed against my cheek. He needs me !!!!! This will not always be the case.

All this will pass very quickly. Someday I will be able to sleep until lunchtime, eat whatever I want, and engage in counseling and correction programs all day long. But I will no longer be needed. Rather, they won't need me as badly as they do now.

Until then…. I will not strive to keep up with everything and correspond to some other people's ideas about the ideal mother, wife and hostess. Someone thinks that my house is a mess? I can offer them a broom and a scoop, let them help me fix it.

Important things have an important place in life. My loved ones need me. And if there is a choice: cleaning or walking with children, my choice is in favor of children. I'd rather cook potatoes with cutlets instead of risotto and sushi. And in the remaining time we will discuss plans for the near future with my husband. Things never end, and we don't know how long our loved ones will stay with us.

They need me now and this is happiness !!! Let this be as long as possible.

Finally, I want to share my favorite parable that helps me in difficult moments of life

This was at the time of the persecution of Christians. A Christian family lived in one village. It was difficult for the father to feed his wife and little children, although he worked tirelessly. But he put all his sorrow on the Lord and believed that someday everything would change for the better. Somehow, in order to encourage both himself and his family, the father engraved the words on the plaque: "IT WILL NOT BE THIS ALWAYS." And he hung up the inscription in a conspicuous place in the house.

Years of persecution have passed, and the time of prosperity and freedom has come. Children grew up, grandchildren appeared. They gathered at a richly set table in their parents' house. We prayed, thanking the Lord for the gifts sent.

The eldest son suddenly noticed an old sign.

“Let's take it off,” he says to his father, “so I don’t want to remember those difficult times. After all, now everything is over.

- No, my children, let it hang. Remember that THIS will NOT ALWAYS be like this either. And teach this to your children. One must be able to thank the Lord for everything. Tough time - thanks for the challenge. Life is easy for you - thanks for the wealth. Only he knows how to be grateful, who always remembers about eternity.

With faith in you

Tatiana Sarapina

Smart women coach and mom)