2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When the brain refuses to believe in feelings.
We are all sane adults and we know that being angry is bad, envy is disgusting; it is disgusting and unacceptable to desire someone who cannot be desired; wanting to kill everyone or someone in particular is not being able to control oneself. You cannot be lazy, it is better not to feel tired, it is advisable not to be sad, not to panic and believe in life
That is, everyone has an ideal idea of themselves. I want not to be disappointed in myself, to continue to believe in my holiness, sinlessness and the best intentions, and also in honesty. But at least with myself.
Recognition of dirty emotions, vile intentions in oneself - this is not khukhry - mukhry to you. That's shameful. Where did the image of the "bright maiden" or "tough fearless man" go? "Ballerinas don't go to the toilet." We are all a bit of a ballerina.
What amazed me in gestalt therapy groups was the recognition by people of their disgusting feelings. " Hello. I'm Vasya. I am an alcoholic”- they say in groups for alcoholics. “Hello, I am furious, jealous, I am experiencing a lot of incomprehensible feelings for my children - from incredible love to hatred and envy towards them, I am afraid of old age, weakness, professional failure, I am experiencing a chill in relationships, I am furious, but such painful love, I am grieving, I'm crying, I'm ashamed, it's hard, I feel guilty …"
It is not so easy to inscribe such imperfect feelings into the ideal image of yourself. Experiences that, logically, should not be.
The brain understands something, everything can explain:
“You shouldn't be in pain, everything is fine.
You cannot be scared, there is nothing to be afraid of.
You shouldn't be bitter, why grieve here?
You are crying because you are tired.
I’m tired because you’re sick and the work is overwhelmed. And so all is well.
This is nothing in your head. There are no difficult experiences.
It's just stress, vitamin deficiency, and here's the coronavirus, panic - that is. Rub it and forget it."
When I was recently in the hospital, a girl from my ward was given an injection somehow wrong. Her leg pulled. So much so that she could neither lie, nor sit, nor walk - the pain is unbearable. The ward doctor, led by an envy, came to see her. Verdict: “There is nothing to hurt here. The injection was placed in the desired square. You can't get sick. " After the doctors left, the girl lay dumbfounded for a long time: "How is it - she can't get sick? …"
So the brain often tries to convince us. “You can't, it shouldn't hurt. There is nothing to hurt here."
In therapy, we learn to recognize our emotions, notice them, “shake hands with them,” acknowledge them. Yes, the ideal image of yourself is flying to hell. But another appears - alive, imperfect, his own, real.
If you are not yet ready for therapy, or vice versa, you have a therapist and he is wonderful, come to the Marathon "Become your equal", it will be interesting for you. Recognize your feelings and that part of yourself "which should not be."
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Photo Igor Kliminov
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