WHY IS BORING WITH "NORMAL"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

WHY IS BORING WITH "NORMAL"

/ transurfer /

I would say that it is rather unusual and very scary with them than boring. But it can be perceived as "boredom" turning into rejection. In the text, instead of a "toad", Jabster is used (so as not to confuse him with a "toad that strangles") and the protagonist (a man - less often, a woman - who is trying to conquer / cure / warm / save this Jabster, so that he later turns into a Prince and falls in love her).

I already know in advance that the word "normal" will surely find fault, so we will agree that "normal" - with whom in a relationship you do not need to do anything on purpose (seek / save / heal) in order to receive attention, acceptance and love. And everything listed below does not cover all the diversity. It is rather a narrow cut.

So why is it boring with "normal":

1. Out of habit. You absolutely do not know what to do with yourself in a relationship, if you do not need to constantly be in a state of struggle for a bright future. What else can you do and why be with someone? A completely unknown territory.

2. You also don’t know what to do with yourself in life, because with Jabster all the forces are spent on relationships with him and these relationships are the central part of being. And when there is no endless quest in a relationship, a lot of energy and free time is released and a feeling of emptiness appears in life.

3. Because everything that "normal" can give, they usually either give or do not give right away. And if they give, then, as a rule, just like that, and not under the condition "You first dance", and if they do not give, then they do not set the conditions "But if you jump, run and dance, I will see." That is, there is no room for feat and self-expression in creative ways of conquering.

4. In a relationship with "gabsters" you live for the future:

- That's when I will warm him with my love …

- That's when I will heal him …

- That's when I'll shoe him, dress him and pull him out of the mud …

… Then the Happy Life will begin. And the expectation of a gift and its anticipation is always better than the gift itself, because the scope for imagination is endless. You can dream for yourself a completely new fairy-tale world, how you can dream anything for yourself until the gift box is open. When the gift is already in hand, there is often a feeling "Is that all?"

Moreover, when Jabster, after three buckets of toxic waste from his life, gives half a teaspoon of heat, the protagonist thinks: "He gave me so little because I did not deserve it. I will - he will give me three buckets." In fact, he simply does not have it anymore, but one can dream that he has a freight stock of this good on the siding. The main thing is to deserve / warm up / save.

5. With Jabster it is easy, because it is familiar. This is all mine, dear, this is my homeland (s). Familiar atmosphere, familiar style of relationship. You know what to do and how to generally play this game.

In addition, the skills acquired in toxic relationships are not at all applicable in "normal" ones. That is, in a relationship with "normal" you bring five bags of the most wonderful tools that you don't need nafig with him. All your virtuoso competence is completely out of work. And what is really required - authenticity, for example, or openness - you do not have and must be mastered from scratch. Dreary, dreary.

6. With Jabster, it's not scary. Relationship didn't work out? Well, still, it's Jabster! With "normal" it's scary. When it didn’t work out with him, it already means something, because it’s not all for fun, but for real.

7. Since Jabster often has to "carry his suitcases" (for example, "answer" for his mood or success), the protagonist has no time to deal with his suitcases, his personality and his problems. “I am the wife of an alcoholic” is quite enough for self-determination, a sense of my mission and purpose in life. "Normal" usually wears everything of his own, which means that with him the protagonist's questions pop up: "Who am I?", "What are my goals?", "What do I want from life?" It's not so much boring as scary, or at the very least tiring and too difficult.

8. With Jabster, everything is clear. The protagonist thinks "I am not worthy of love. But if I earn it, I will deserve it. And then it will all be logical: I was not worthy> invested energy> earned> I have the right to love." With "normal" it is not clear at all: what is it that he gives me love, if I am unworthy? (practically "How can I explain this to my inner mother?"). And what to do with it, where to apply it? Can not understand anything. Melancholy one leads only.

9. The most important thing is what? Since with Jabster it is always a race for carrots on the horizon, which never gets closer, then this carrot is never tasted. Sometimes she also succeeds in her taste - phew! But so far it has not been possible, the dream that the conquered love of this Jabster will somehow fix the black hole left over from childhood, will be alive and well. And it will warm up this long, exhausting race.

The relationship with "normal" is not related to this expectation.

I think the last point is the most important. Through Jabster, the protagonist tries to get the most important thing: the feeling that he has the right to love and happiness, has the right to be, to exist in nature. The desire is very understandable and worthy