From Frog To Princess. Metaphorical Transformation Of A Recent Psychological Session

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From frog to princess. The story of a metaphorical transformation

Client N, a girl of less than 20 years old, turned to a consultation with a request to work out the behavioral (laid down by the influence of her mother) patterns of interaction with persons of the opposite sex, the essence of which was as follows: men are potentially dangerous, in connection with which they require from a woman compulsory defense necessary attacks and righteous, sacred combat.

The girl grew up in an atmosphere of eternal confrontation between father and mother, having learned the following destructive algorithm from early childhood: the mother provoked marital conflicts almost every day, bringing disagreements with her husband to serious scandals, with the subsequent expulsion of the man from the house. For some, extremely short time between husband and wife, a truce could take place, but soon, in a predictable way, the war would certainly resume. The story of the girl's parents ended in divorce, with the client's father's imminent marriage to another woman. The girl's mother never got married, all her life warning her daughter against a similar scenario and literally instilling the following: "men are dangerous", "marriage does not lead to good," yourself, avoiding rapprochement with persons of the opposite sex. And the girl obediently implemented the maternal scenario: having entered the training of an alien (but reliable, as her mother believed) specialty; not living your life; sabotaging close relationships with the opposite sex by constant confrontation, conflicts.

Alena Viktorovna, I behave with men in the same way as mom and dad - I conflict, I fight, I defend something, and eventually I inevitably come to parting. I am not satisfied with this state of affairs, but it seems that I am not able to do it differently. I was desperate: my last fiancé recently married another girl. Apparently, she took care of their joint relationship. Is it possible to work out this pattern of destructive interaction with the opposite sex, which is disadvantageous for a woman? I'm tired, worn out …

Our work was structured quite traditionally. We conditionally isolated the part of the girl’s personality opposing men and, having put her on a separate chair, began to clarify the situation. Pretty soon the following became clear: this subpersonality was personified by the girl's mother - with her fears and rejection of the opposite sex. But the most curious thing that we managed to find out further was the following: the parent did not hate all the men in the world, there was in her fate one person whom she loved all her life, but who, to the greatest misfortune in her youth, left her forever, having crashed in a monstrous catastrophe. The woman still loved this man anxiously. But the client's dad (and all other men on earth) did not accept and hated. The client did not marry her father of her own free will - under pressure from relatives, in marriage she gave birth to her daughter, with the advent of which she had to interrupt her studies, to which the woman endlessly complained to her husband and daughter, and to everyone around her. Her marriage did not work out, the woman raised her daughter (from adolescence) alone, in difficult material conditions. So she instilled in her girl (from the best, as it were, motives) that men are unreliable people, and education is a piece of bread that will always feed. In general, I implemented my scripts.

After listening to this dramatic story, we expressed our sincere sympathy and deepest empathy for her pain to the woman (who personifies the client's working subpersonality). Further, with the expression of the highest respect, we noted the following: behind the superficial rejection of the male half of society in the soul of this woman lies the greatest, tragic love for one single man. We also noted that the soul of this woman is notable not at all for hatred for anyone, but for the rare gift of love for an eternally beloved person. We expressed our admiration, our delight and asked her not to hide such a wonderful feeling, but to pour it into her daughter's heart with grateful pride for this presence, transferring to her child the potential of great love, with a mother's blessing for a happy marriage of her daughter. The woman (personified as the client's subpersonality) was literally moved to tears and-and-and … agreed to fulfill our request.

To consolidate the result, we asked the girl's subpersonality to personify herself (at the initial stage of the session and at the present) with some specific images. She got the following: the first image looked like a steel and heavy stone living in the very center of the chest, the second - like a hot stove with a flaming brazier, occupying the entire inner space of the client.

We asked the girl's subpersonality to focus on her second image and ignite the spiritual furnace to a sacred, healing heat, and then place a steel stone there.

The client did this and saw the following picture: the steel pebble began to melt, melt and eventually transformed into wonderful steel hearts - two adults and three tiny (children's) ones, symbolically foreshadowing the client's possible, future happiness.

The sensation that filled the girl was incredible: light and happy at the same time.

We thanked this resource part, as it turned out, for the girl and performed a check: the client, having sat down on her chair, listen carefully to her feelings - did she decide everything and did she have any questions left to the highlighted subpersonality?

Suddenly, an image came to the girl: "I want to throw my mother's spacesuit into this stove, in which I am always dressed and which is small for me, it burns."

“Awesome!” I told her. Do it! Do you know how this image is revealed in my understanding? You are now throwing into the oven not your mother's robe, but your frog skin (in which you were accidentally clothed), thereby freeing yourself from the spell and turning you into the happiest Princess. You will not wear this skin again and will return yourself to what it is - the real one.

/ The images that come to the therapist during the session are valuable and resourceful in their own way. The psychologist is a full-fledged participant in therapeutic transformations and, scanning healing processes, prompts the client with very significant and valuable meanings. /

We threw a frog skin into the magic furnace and got rid of alien, unfavorable prescriptions for the girl, leaving in her heart only a healing reservoir of unspent, beautiful love. It’s so easy, with the assistance of the previously intractable, but now agreed part of the personality, the client and I corrected the request situation. At the end of the work, the girl felt differently and left the session with a completely different, to the village unfamiliar fullness.

Upon completion of the consultation, the following unexpectedly emerged for me: "The Tale of the Frog Princess" has been this client's favorite fairy tale since childhood. Here is such a magic roll call, a metaphorical message, a sign of the future saving transformation from a frog into a princess.