2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- We with the second spouse (however, as well as with the first) often quarrel, we swear, we cannot agree. I'm tired of it - at least go get a divorce again. I would like to clarify the background of this conflict?
- Alevtina, any request requires research, awareness, time. But already now we can reach the first prompting answers. Ready? Then let's try to clarify your request by working with a metaphor? Imagine in space, somewhere opposite you, your problem in the form of a figurative allegory. What is she associated with? Tell us.
- She introduced herself to me in the form of a pirate chest. Inside there is some terrible evil, similar to the villain from the famous cartoon - Jafar from the fairy tale "Aladdin", remember?
- So … Now move to the position of the chest and look at yourself through his eyes. How does the chest relate to Alevtina?
“He doesn't like her. He tortures her on purpose, on purpose.
- And what does he want from Alevtina?
- Confessions! So she can see that he is and appreciated its (albeit negative) merits.
- Soooo, go back to Alevtina's position. Respond to the acquired information.
- I'm afraid of the chest. And I don't want to look in his direction.
- Good! Then let's call for your help some kind of alternative force that will balance the influence of the chest. What is it if you imagine it in an image?
- My beloved grandmother. More than she, no one has ever loved me. Grandma stands between me and the chest, pats me on the head, comforts me. The fear goes away. I'm not afraid now.
- Grandmother for you is an image of embodied love, right? And what about the chest, do you think?
- About something bad, which is usually not liked.
- Interesting! And with the appearance of the grandmother, the chest was transformed, disappeared?
- No. He cannot disappear. The chest is a part of my life. He was, is and will be.
- And if you ask your grandmother to stroke and comfort him, as it just happened to you, what will happen to the chest under the influence of grandmother's acceptance, will it be transformed? Try to look.
- Oh, he has decreased, became accommodating, cute. And asks to my knees.
- Can you take it?
- Yes, I'll try, I'm not afraid of such a box. Look, he's smiling now. Like that, huh? Has changed!
- Good. Now try to move to its position again. Tell us how he feels now, what changes have happened to him?
- He says that he thought that there was nothing to love him for, because he was worthless and evil, so he behaved accordingly in order to attract at least some attention. And with his grandmother's acceptance, he calmed down and felt like a kind guy.
- Tell me, at the moment this chest didn’t accidentally remind you of anyone? Think …
- I already understood. (Smiles.) The chest is me, in my childhood. Except for my grandmother, no one loved me, and I had to draw attention to myself by quarrels and conflicts. Apparently, I still "play" these children's games.
- It may very well be. (I smile back.) After all, relationships with loved ones to a certain extent repeat our childhood strategies with the first dear people - moms and dads. I am glad that you yourself noted this. Now let's reflect on our first response results …
So, by working with an allegory that personifies the client's problem, you can reach the hidden causes of various psychological difficulties and find out the following …
1. What is behind the problem?
2. What does she report?
3. What keys to the solution does it offer?
As the famous psychologist N. Linde remarkably said in an interview: "Metaphor is the language of the soul." In no other way will the soul inform a person about the depth of the ongoing problem, only through images and metaphors.
/ The author of this publication is a certified psychologist Alena Viktorovna Blishchenko. /
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