Difficult Choice Between Being And Appearing

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each of us, to one degree or another, hides our true "I" from the world in order to protect it from different things, exposing the slightly embellished "I". So days go by, in a constant sequence of "being" and "appearing", sometimes blurring the boundaries between them. And then it becomes more pleasant to seem than just to be

Because to seem is almost to get almost what you want in the safest way. It’s like wearing a pound of shaping underwear and “not liking summer and swimming pools” instead of really getting into your own figure. It's like bragging about a three-hundredth victory in the backyard for honor and dignity, which you did not accomplish. And even though you have never fought, just the flair is enough to create the right impression. First of all - for yourself.

It's like being able to cook and watch cooking shows. Or even not, it’s as it is and sniffing, because you do not live life to the fullest, feeling the taste to the maximum, but only greedily inhale the aroma, drinking real hunger with a glass of slightly emotional water.

It is not to admit to yourself that you cannot do something and cannot cope with something. Which is pretty normal overall, because nobody is Super Maine. But the fear of being ridiculed, of being left without weapons and armor from myths is stronger and you continue not to be, but to seem. And this means living in the background fear that the next time it will not work out, that they will expose your bluff and, even worse, they will say it out loud.

Seeming is much easier than being real, because it only requires a look. It's like renovating architectural monuments in Odessa: cracks are painted or covered with advertisements. It does not strike the eye from afar - hence not.

It seems like a magic fog, in which clear boundaries are not visible, but only contours are visible, along which the true magnitude of what you would like to hide is not clear. It is to be proud of yourself in front of everyone and to feel sorry for yourself in secret from everyone, even the closest ones, even yourself. Because to admit it means to move from the category “seem” painted in gold and large stones to the category of “to be”, huddled in a one-room apartment in an “elite new building” far outside the city (the air is simply cleaner there, and it takes an hour and a half to go to work with such landscapes are a pleasure).

To be is to live without the need to swing your "success" around every corner, it is just to do your job. Most often, quieter than louder, simply because there is no time for a special volume. This is less pathos and more of a case that does not disagree with our reality, not fictional by someone.

Seeing is like playing Dartanyan on stage every day, helping out friends, being a model of nobility and an example to follow, but drinking at home, yelling at your wife and watering children happily screaming in the yard from the balcony, because their “being” annoys you. And you get tired, you get tired madly, but you don't know how to get out of this image, or how to seem real, because you don't know how to be anyone else. Yes, and frankly you are afraid.

The only problem is that in order to seem, you need more and more new viewers over time, because the old ones are already beginning to understand that between your word and deed there is an abyss the size of the Grand Canyon. And then you look for reasons to get rid of the old environment - to get rid of it. Because they can destroy your "seem" with almost one touch. And what to do with your own "be" you still do not know.