2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Maybe this is just my subjective opinion, but I often began to face the fact that even in the psychological community they do not like competition, or at least they do not approve. "You are competing" or "she is very competitive" is most often frowned upon. "She's just competing with you" as a consolation option. I have also come across statements that "confident people do not compete. Competition is due to insecurity."
Many of the people I know are intimidated by the competitive situation. And, actually, it is not unreasonable. More often than not, we perceive the word competition as a fight for life and death. A fight where one is the winner and the other is the loser. Where any weapon is used, including aimed strikes on weak points, meanness, treachery and betrayal. Where the first needs to be cynical, cruel and mean, and the second turns out to be weak, humiliated and helpless.
And I would like to say a few words in defense of competition. Not one that is black and dirty and to death, but one that is conceived by nature. Look at all the young cubs - wolf cubs, lion cubs, puppies, kittens - at a certain age they almost constantly play games that are more like skirmishes or battles. They play with each other, they play with adults, they play with toys. And these are not just games. Each teenage cub in these games learns to attack, defend, hunt. In games with peers - tests how fast, agile and strong he is. In games with elders - where are the boundaries of what is permitted.
What sets these games apart is that they are voluntary. They do not cause serious injury. In them, blows and bites are only indicated. The game is terminated if one of the players gives the signal "I am in pain".
I see about the same model in amateur sports. Where everyone strives to become better and win, but if he has lost, he honestly admits the victory of the other and asks or thinks "how did he do it? And how can I do it? And how can I become better?"
And it seems to me that this is the model of healthy competition. Where we are more partners than opponents. Where, interacting with each other, we can discover our strengths and weaknesses, find new successful techniques, find out our size and our strengths.
And both for baby animals and for novice gestalt therapists, and for any student or beginner, this is an important and necessary stage - knowing yourself and your place in the community.
The main thing is to remember the rules and not to arrange battles "not for life, but to the death."
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