Time To Choose: Career Or Family

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

After all, the truth is, looking at these virtuoso sorceresses, you understand that they know how to listen and hear, feel and just know. They have everything: thoroughness in solving tasks, lack of inclination to make quick and rash decisions, they know how to discover the best in people. In a word, you cannot build a full-fledged business without them.

However, all over the world, their percentage among top managers is still small. In most countries, women hold less than 5% of CEO positions in large corporations, the International Labor Organization notes. I wonder why this is so?

Before the birth of my first child, I often asked myself the question - Do you really need to make a choice between career and family? Is it possible to combine? It always seemed to me that those very successful women careerists who have a full-fledged family never asked such a question. Certainly from a career, they are unlikely to give up. Listening to them, I was more and more convinced that this is all nonsense! You can combine both! I even had the conviction at that moment that this is simply necessary, it practically saves the life of my family. Why should they feel guilty for the fact that mom abandoned her status and position for their good, in general, why should mom sacrifice herself and then unconsciously impute guilt to each new family member. In general, it turned out to be a beautiful justifying story. And she worked for a number of years….

My Varenka was already six years old and everything went, as it seemed to me, as usual. I ran a serious company, achieved high results for the founders, and Varenka had everything: the best kindergarten, the best teachers, the best toys and a wonderful vacation twice a year with her parents. I had a feeling of full-fledged success and harmony, until my baby learned how to clearly express her thoughts.

One new year, we, as usual, wrote a letter to Santa Claus to put him under the rug. I was already determined to help Varenka formulate wishes regarding Elsa's dress and a new set for the artist, as she unexpectedly told me:

- No, mom, I don't want it, I already have a lot of it..

- What do you want, I asked in surprise

- I want a new house in which to live.

Everything went cold inside me, my psychological education made me very scared.

- And what kind of house do you want, what is different in it, not like here? I asked

- Everything is there and it never ends

- What else is there? - I asked again, trying to get to the bottom of the most important

“You’re there, and you don’t have to go to work to make money. The house has everything. This is a magical house

I cried all night, realizing how bad my child was, and how bad I was. To my surprise, I realized that I was going in the wrong direction, achieving results in the wrong places where they are really needed. That the results that I have, except for my founders and my team, essentially do not bring satisfaction to anyone else. And what's the point then? I asked myself. It was obvious that my child needs me more than all the Monster High dolls put together, with all the best kindergartens and schools. It's time for serious decisions and choices.

Then I didn’t do it, I couldn’t. I remembered those successful women on TV who spoke beautifully and confidently about the art of combination and the absence of a dilemma. Inspired by their example, I began to combine everything. I left work earlier, came later in order to spend more time with the child. Together we began to go to drawing circles, to the cinema, to visit, or just lie and chat about the most important thing. Everything seemed to be very harmonious and holistic, until the ringing mobile phone persistently began to interfere in our such conversations. The ringing phone often sounded the dissatisfied voice of the founders with the question - Where am I? Then calls from customers and employees began to be added. Problems began to appear that required urgent solutions. To solve them, I had to sit down at my laptop and write letters. All this happened under the sad gaze of my daughter.

- Mom, do they not understand that we are playing with you? You are at home and you are with me

- No, they understand - I answered. They just don't want to accept it.

Am I with you at all? a question was born inside me, but already about myself …

Fate helped me answer this question. After a while, my son was born and the choice was made.

Returning to the question "should I make a choice", my answer is - it is necessary. Someone does it himself, someone helps fate. But is it possible to combine? In truth, I have not been able to answer this question for myself. For me, these are two different questions and two different situations. In the case of building a career, the combination is impossible, as in my case. Big business does not really need mothers with children, they have other problems and tasks there. But small businesses, for example, their own, need mothers with children. They are even very much taken care of and thought about there. Now I am at this stage. Checking the hypothesis, let's see what comes of it. In the meantime, I can say for sure - I am against black or white. The only solution is everything in due time. There is an excellent ratio of 30% to 70%. What's more important to you now is 70%. The main thing is not to break this formula and try to follow the expression “to be here and now”.