2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- Who do you think I am?
- Much more important is who you think you are.
Self-esteem and her parents
The important thing about self-esteem. Everyone has it. Someone worries about her, but some do not. People often complain about their low self-esteem. Such self-esteem interferes in life and inhibits our development like an anchor that has taken root at the bottom of time. Such self-esteem rarely leads to success or happiness in life. As, however, on a par with the overpriced, with which some people try to assert themselves at the expense of others. Have you met daffodils? But this also does not bring joy. It only increases the aching internal pain like a rotting splinter. What kind of self-esteem is needed for a happy life? There is such - it is called adequate or normal. This is when we really look at our gifts and talents, are emotionally harmonious and set ourselves quite real, although difficult to achieve goals.
Where does the notorious self-esteem come from?
Everything is formed from birth - these are the stories of children and their parents, first of all. At birth, a child depends on his parents and the opinion of the parents is equal to the opinion of God for him. Everything is taken as 100% truth, even what mom or dad said in jest or in their hearts. Children like sponges absorb opinions and add their fantasies. This is how negative self-beliefs and self-esteem are born.
Everything is intertwined in an amazing tapestry of life.
Not everything is going smoothly for everyone. Many do not remember their childhood, or partially fragmentary puzzles of a big picture, like me for example.
What childhood - such self-esteem. Then educators, teachers, friends add tar or honey.
It cannot be avoided. This must be realized and released. Forgive to move to the next level of awareness.
To do this, you need to ask yourself questions:
- What do I choose right today?
- Whose opinion is important to me? And what does it give me?
- What do I really want?
And honestly, first of all, answer them. This is the first and main stage. Consciousness of choice. Consciously stop being a victim in your life, when everyone around you is to blame, and starting through taking responsibility for your life to come to the stage of the Author of your life. The path is not for everyone. And not so many people have passed it, unfortunately. A path that requires readiness and courage.
So, if the answers to the questions have been received, then where to start.
I recommend starting with the Life Line practice. How to do it?
Draw on a large piece of paper (A3, for example) a vertical line across the entire sheet. At the upper end of the line, mark the point of your birth, at the lower end - there will be a moment now in your life. Further, starting from today, from the bottom up, mark important events in your life and mark them with a dash and an inscription how old you are (not the date of the event). It often happens that we do not remember many events in our life - then it is necessary to restore them, clarifying them with relatives, friends, relatives. This is a very important stage, which will serve as the foundation for further work with self-esteem.
If you do the Life Line practice well, then as a result you will at least relive many events of your life anew, which in itself has a therapeutic effect. And most importantly, you will be able to see some repetitions of similar events - patterns that follow you throughout your life and repeat themselves, which resembles a "rake run". In most cases, the "rake" began in childhood and is associated with parents.
Therefore, I recommend starting with working with parents. There are many practices and methods for working with parents. Among them is the method of Radical Forgiveness, which is simple and easy to use. The main thing is the willingness to forgive and accept. And to understand that forgiveness is beneficial for us, because by forgiving we do not justify the actions of the offenders, even if they are parents, but we nullify the influence of negative events of our past on our present and future life.
Where do you start to forgive your parents? The main tool of Radical Forgiveness is the Questionnaire, which is freely available. You need to fill out the Questionnaire for each parent and as many times as necessary, connecting with the feelings that you experienced during the event. The goal is to feel neutral when recalling a traumatic event or abuser, even when meeting in person. This is the main criterion for assessing whether you have forgiven or is it just mind games. By forgiving you make room for a miracle in your life. Forgiveness affects all areas of life, including health. After all, unlived emotions do not disappear anywhere and remain in the body, being the source of psychosomatic diseases. And, of course, you will gain adequate self-esteem.
Goodbye to grow and be happy and healthy. With adequate self-esteem!
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