2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The child goes to school and begins to understand his place in the world of public relations. The child begins to distinguish between "I am what I am" and "I am what others see me."
An inner life arises and an arbitrariness of behavior is formed. The child begins to do homework because "I have to", not because "I want to."
Crisis manifestations:
1. Loss of childish spontaneity: Between desire and action is the experience of what meaning this action will have for the child himself.
2. Manneriness, capriciousness, the child does not walk as he did before. Something deliberate, ridiculous and artificial appears in the behavior, some kind of nimbleness, clowning, clownery; the child makes himself a jester.
3. A meaningful orientation in their own experiences arises: the child begins to understand what it means "I am happy", "I am upset", "I am angry", "I am good", "I am evil."
- Experiences take on meaning (an angry child realizes that he is angry).
- For the first time there is a generalization of experiences, the logic of feelings. That is, if a situation has happened to him many times, he has a certain emotional attitude to this place, business or person.
- A sharp struggle of emotions arises. Experiencing is the inner attitude of a child as a person to a particular moment of reality.
4. Self-esteem and self-esteem appear. The level of our requests for ourselves, for our success, for our position arises in connection with the crisis of seven years. The most important thing that children need from their parents and other adults in this period is respect: the child makes a claim for respect, for being treated like an adult, for recognition of his sovereignty.
5. The phenomenon of "bitter candy": the child achieves his goal, but does not feel pleasure from it, because he achieved it in a socially disapproving way.
6. Difficulties arise in upbringing. The child begins to withdraw and becomes uncontrollable.
How to deal with the crisis of seven years? Tips for Parents
- To begin with, you must always remember that crises are temporary phenomena, they pass, they need to be experienced.
- Be patient, respectful and attentive to the child, love him, but do not "tie" to yourself, let him have friends, his own circle of friends. Be prepared to support, listen, and encourage your child. It is easier to cope with the problem when it has just arisen and has not yet led to negative consequences.
- The reason for the acute course of the crisis is the authoritarianism and harshness towards the child on the part of the parents, therefore it is necessary to think about whether all the prohibitions are justified and whether it is possible to give the child more freedom and independence.
- Try to change your attitude towards the child: he is no longer small, pay attention to his opinions and judgments, try to understand him. It's important to actually listen to the child, not just pretend.
- Morality and orders during this crisis do not work, try not to force, but to convince, reason and analyze with the child the possible consequences of his actions.
- If your relationship with your child has become continuous scandals and resentments, you need to take a break from each other for a while: send the child to relatives for a few days, and by his return, make a firm decision not to scream or lose your temper at all became.
- It is important that the child goes to the first grade prepared. Then adaptation to school will be easier and the crisis will not worsen. We are talking about the level of general knowledge (the world around, seasons, geometric figures, his name, the city in which he lives, the development of memory, etc.) and about psychological readiness (tell us what he has to do (with a positive coloring), what difficulties may be and how you can cope with them, take a tour of the school).
- Encourage socializing with friends of his own age.
- Teach your child to manage emotions (using your own behavior as an example; there are special games and exercises).
- Monitor your health (a sick, weakened child perceives new information worse, does not make contact with others).
- As much optimism and humor as possible in communicating with children, it always helps!
If the situation is out of your control, sign up for a consultation and you will understand how to behave with your specific child. Together we will find a way to survive this crisis.
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