2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
- Well hello! Did not expect?
- Why are you here? Leave!
- Don't you remember?
- What don't I remember?
- We felt good together …
- It's not true, I felt bad …
- It's not true, you felt good, we felt good …
- It is good for me now, but then I was bad. Go away!
- I can not. We loved each other. And now you pretend that it was not …
- Did not have! I felt bad. And now it's good. I finally got rid of you. Well?! Are you still here?!
- I cannot leave …
- Okay, then I'll leave. Goodbye! And don't touch me anymore!
- Hello again … You ran away so quickly then … I didn't have time to tell you …
- Oh, it's you again! Well, how much can you ?! I already did everything to get rid of you! Disappear !!!
“Okay, no greeting this time. I can't leave while you're running away from me. While you try to cut … throw away … forget … pretend it didn't matter … that it was just bad … that there was no love in it …
- Hmm …
- Well? What? What now?!
“You’re doing well now, right?”
- YES!!!
- Then why are you crying?
- What?! I? I do not … I do not … … … …
- Finally…
- … … I miss you … It hurts to let you go … It's scary without you … There were so many things … It was so familiar … It was me … The way it could be then … It was love … the way it could have been then …
- Yes…
- I so wanted to get rid of where I felt bad. I wanted to get rid of you. I’ve already made the jump to where I feel good. Why are you following me?
- So that you are not torn to pieces, but regained your integrity. The past cannot be torn away, thrown away, turned away and forgotten. It can be accepted. Even if it was very bad, there is not only bad in him, but also good. It is important to keep the good for yourself. Draw conclusions from the bad. And if something has already died, then it is important to bury and mourn, and not throw it away, turning away from pain, because it was something significant.
- But I have already moved into the future, where I feel good. Why is this all happening?
- You tried to jump into the future without saying goodbye to the past. It's like jumping forward with an elastic band tied to your leg - it will bring you back. To look into the future with a smile, you need to calmly rely on the past.
The past, be it some kind of relationship, some person, some events, some parts of us, our state or way of living - deserves respect. Even if it brought great suffering. Saying "that's it, I don't need this anymore", turning away and running away doesn't work. It is important to establish contact with the past and release it gradually, meaningfully, as soon as you are ready.
Sometimes it is necessary to say goodbye to him as a close friend. After all, something in the past was a part of us. And, for example, you can't just tear your hand off and throw it away.
It happens in therapy that the therapist is in a hurry, urging the client to take and move from a problem to a resource. It seems that there is everything for this, and the client is clinging to something to the past, to his suffering. But he, along with suffering, lets go of some part of himself …
It happens that after a seemingly positive session, a person becomes ill, worsens, or "running away" appears (alcohol, dullness on the Internet, etc.). Perhaps the work has brought about a big change. Some part of yourself needs to be released, buried. And this causes sadness, as with the loss of a loved one. A person can become entangled in this sadness or run away from it. And then it is important to live this sadness, to carry out some kind of ritual of farewell, letting go - letting go of the self that is no longer in the present.
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