2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In the professional activity of a psychotherapist, the problem of accepting a client is quite acute. Without accepting the client, it is impossible to establish a psychotherapeutic contact or alliance with him, and therefore a psychotherapeutic relationship, without which psychotherapy becomes impossible. Client acceptance is a prerequisite for psychotherapy. I wrote about this in more detail in the article Psychotherapist's picture of the world
However, accepting a client is a rather difficult task not only for a psychotherapist who is starting to work, since this means a non-judgmental attitude towards him, and an assessment is an unconditional attribute of the human worldview. And here the therapist often encounters a feeling of arrogance. And for this he has every reason, inevitably arising from his position and the position of the client. Let us consider in more detail these positions of the participants in the therapeutic process.
Client:
• Is in the position of "asking". He turns to a professional, endowing him (and not without reason) with knowledge, skills, experience, wisdom, thereby placing him a priori in the position of a giver;
• He does not realize a lot in his life in general and in his problem with which he applied for professional help, in particular;
• Does not possess the necessary knowledge in the field of psychology, has superficial everyday ideas about psychic reality (soul) and the laws by which it functions;
• Materialistically oriented, knowing and trusting more material, real, than spiritual, ideal;
• Often infantile, and therefore egocentric, often unable to go beyond the self-centered position. Not always able to see the situation from the outside, to occupy a metaposition, which is why there are problems with their own choices, and therefore with responsibility for them.
• Has often conflicting, fragmented ideas about himself, about other people and about the world.
• In his perception of himself, the world and other people, an evaluative position prevails, creating an attitude of comparing himself with others and the desire to become better, different, not himself;
Psychotherapist:
• Determined by the client in the position of "giver". Has the relevant profession knowledge, skills, personal and professional experience;
• Realizes and reflects on his life and himself as a person. During my studies, in the process of going through compulsory personal therapy, I "met" and realized my main problems and for the most part worked them out;
• Armed with knowledge about the laws of existence and development of psychic reality, about the psychic norm and options for its deviation;
• Possesses a psychological picture of the world, is inclined to see the psychological essence behind many material processes;
• Mature personality. Capable of empathy and decentration, which makes it possible to "go out" into the metaposition, which allows you to see the situation from different sides, under different focuses, which gives rise to the prospect of making your own choices and taking responsibility for them;
• Has a holistic, consistent view of himself, the world and other people;
• Capable of a non-judgmental attitude that creates an attitude of accepting oneself and others “as they are”.
The above-described "bonuses" of the profession of "psychotherapist" often create conditions for him to develop a sense of arrogance towards the client.
How can the therapist avoid an arrogant attitude and be able to understand and accept the client?
In my opinion, this is possible through "cultivating" a sense of respect for the client. What grounds does the therapist have for respecting the client?
A client is a person who voluntarily turns to a psychotherapist for professional help. This fact alone is worthy of respect. It means that client Human:
• Courageous. Despite the fear and shame that is generally inherent in front of this kind of specialists, and even more so for our culture, he is able to take the risk of seeking professional psychological help.
• Intelligent. He does not solve his problems in a handicraft way (self-medication, boyfriends, sorcerers, etc.), but turns to a professional. Consequently, in his worldview there are elements of culture in general and psychological culture in particular.
• Reasonable. Understands that the soul deserves due attention to itself, that not only material values, but also spiritual values are important in the world, that health depends not only on the state of the body and physiological processes, but also on the mental and emotional state.
• Suffering … Experiencing mental discomfort, tension, anxiety, fears, depression, intrapersonal contradictions - everything that makes him suffer, experience mental pain.
The above qualities of the client allow us to treat him with respect, attention, sympathy, to see in him behind the external facade, which is not always attractive, the soul - vulnerable, suffering, fearful, hopeful.
Recommended:
“You Must Leave Her! There Is Nothing You Can Do To Help Her! " Does The Therapist Have The Right Not To Continue Psychotherapy. Case From Practice
Reflecting on the toxicity of our profession in general and public contact in particular, I recall an instructive incident. He describes a not quite typical professional problem, which corresponds to the same atypical solution. Both the problem described and its solution in this case are not in the field of theory and methodology of psychotherapy, but in the field of professional and personal ethics.
About The Therapist's Self-disclosure
Recently, there was an alleged quote from a seminar of a Freudian psychoanalyst circulating on the net: "Any self-disclosure of the analyst is the seduction of the patient." I don’t know how accurate this quote was, but somehow it gave me old thoughts .
The Client's Need To Supervise The Therapist. Difficult Client - Manipulation In Psychotherapy
Manipulation can be defined as "arbitrarily influencing or controlling other people in order to gain benefits through persuasion, deception, seduction, coercion, induction or guilt." This term is almost always used to describe the client's attempts to control the relationship;
7 Simple Rules: If You Meet A Therapist
Fortunately, the word "psychologist" has already taken root enough in everyday language and has almost ceased to be confused with, once close in meaning, "psychiatrist", "psychic" or "charlatan". There are more and more faculties willingly preparing psychologists, as well as the owners of "
Arrogance
Arrogance Arrogance is one way to create distance in communication. "I will not let you close to me, because - I am better than you" - broadcast into the world of an arrogant person. It is difficult to recognize an arrogant person closer, because he keeps his distance, shows himself exclusively from his best side, “keeps his face” and suppresses his feelings in relation to others in society.
