7 Simple Rules: If You Meet A Therapist

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57

Fortunately, the word "psychologist" has already taken root enough in everyday language and has almost ceased to be confused with, once close in meaning, "psychiatrist", "psychic" or "charlatan". There are more and more faculties willingly preparing psychologists, as well as the owners of "magic" diplomas, so society is gradually getting used to this new category.

Another thing with the no less exotic word "psychotherapist" - this is not taught at the university, so where they come from, it may not always be clear to an ordinary person. How and where to run if you introduced yourself as a psychotherapist. But the feeling that I have to run is still often present, because if I am already used to a psychologist, then the psychotherapist will just now creep into my head, begin to heal or hypnotize me.

Therefore, a quick guide in case you met a psychotherapist:

1. Do not be scared and, preferably, do not run

Fortunately, a psychotherapist is not a diagnosis … In ordinary life, psychotherapists do not have any superpowers, do not emit invisible fluids, do not know how to control you, hypnotize and do such obscure things. Just like when a person introduces himself as an accountant, he usually does not start calculating your income, expenses and credit debts by the power of his gaze, the therapist does not read your mind and usually does not pose any threat.

In most cases, you can continue to communicate in the same way as you would with a lawyer, entrepreneur or theoretical physicist, or simply with a person whose profession you do not know.

2. Do not ask: "Well, tell me something about me" or "And advise me what to do with this problem"

Of course, if you have met a psychic, then you really want to try it for authenticity as soon as possible and back a lot of tricky questions. Unfortunately, psychotherapists usually do not have sacred knowledge, third eye or clairvoyance, at least known to us;)

For some, this may be a reason to be disappointed in them.

But there is always the opportunity to ask for advice on the topic "what to do with your husband", "how to find a common language with the child" or "how not to kill colleagues." Here the next disappointment awaits us - usually psychotherapists will not give you a solution to all problems, a miraculous formula for success, a secret spell or advice on how to solve all your problems in 5 minutes. After that, it may be completely unclear to many why psychotherapists are needed then.

But you know, doctors probably won't be very happy either if at the first meeting you begin to list all your illnesses and strange symptoms, and usually they do not treat on benches near the entrances.

Then what to talk about with a psychotherapist? Well, what would you talk to someone else about?

3. Don't google it. Especially about the difference between a psychologist and a psychotherapist

This advice may seem strange, but, unfortunately, Google from page to page goes through about the same evolution in views as ordinary people, because they are the ones who often fill search engines with questions and answers. He will immediately start slipping you a wide variety of sites with similar content. Here they will tell you that psychotherapists work with, if not sick, then definitely abnormal, and in general with patients whose role is extremely passive, therefore patients are not responsible for the result. Have you read the last sentence? Forget now, and please don't google articles like this.

Yes - there are different directions and types of psychotherapy, yes - some of them are suitable for people with mental disorders and pathologies. But psychotherapy works equally well with healthy people to help solve common problems and improve quality of life. And in no case is the client's position passive. This is good news, because the therapist will not manipulate you with incomprehensible manipulations, but it is also bad news, because you will have to work on your own.

Psychotherapy is learning and it requires your work and activity.

So, if you nevertheless not only met a psychotherapist, but also decided to come to him for an appointment, from which in this case you should not expect or do:

4. Do not ask for advice, do not demand that the therapist tell you what to do

Remember point 2 - the therapist does not advise and does not know how to live better for you. Now remember point 3 - psychotherapy is learning, and the therapist can really teach how to cope with problems. But you have to deal with them. Just like a coach will not be able to set a record for you, but he can teach you to set a record. Of course, if you follow his advice.

Especially, you don't need to ask for a secret recipe, spells or training system to make your relatives / neighbors / colleagues behave differently.

A psychotherapist, like a doctor, will not be able to cure your loved ones if you come to the appointment. But he can explain what you can do if your loved ones need help. Moreover, a psychotherapist can help you change your attitude towards the same relatives / neighbors or colleagues and understand what the problem may actually be.

Perhaps you are the one with the headache, and you are the one who needs the headache remedy, and not the neighbor with the puncher?

5. Don't expect your life to change dramatically in one meeting

We will not say that this is absolutely impossible; unexpected miracles also happen. But change usually takes time, effort and, most importantly, desire. There is an old but valid formula: work and you will get results.

6. Do not bring the therapist a script of "what I should be" and do not ask him to make you a superman

Not that it was absolutely impossible to do this, however, there is a high probability that the psychotherapist does not have a way to transform into a superman. And almost certainly the psychotherapist will not turn a fearful and timid introvert into an 80-level extrovert and a mega-effective sales god.

The meaning is simple - a psychotherapist will not make you someone radically different, but he can accomplish with your help another "miracle" - help to accept yourself as you are with your uniqueness, and teach you to live in harmony with yourself.

7. Not to demand guarantees and clear terms from the psychotherapist

The most unobvious point, but if a psychotherapist promises a 100% result, you should think in the same way as when you see an advertisement for a drug that guarantees once and for all, completely and unambiguously deprives you of a certain problem (of course, if this does not imply a complete amputation of what bothers you Although there is always the possibility of phantom pain).

No doctor will give you a 100% guarantee, because we never know 100% of all the factors and possible options, just as no teacher will promise you guaranteed to teach your child to speak English in a month - but he can teach your child the basics of English and a system of exercises to maintain and improve your skills. And in both cases, both the patient's compliance with the doctor's instructions and the child's fulfillment of the teacher's tasks will be decisive - both the result and the time spent on achieving it will depend on this.

What matters is that

psychotherapy worksand there is a lot of both scientific and practical evidence for this, but it requires your willingness to work and time and effort. Here, as in school, there are homework, exercises and workouts, but they no longer give grades and do not call parents. This requires your own participation and responsibility, because no one will live your life for you, like no one can walk with your feet or think with your head. In any case, such methods are unknown to modern science. And this is the originality and beauty of our life.