2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
To be honest, no relationships appear in our life "just like that." Is that blood ties, here we are truly powerless in choosing. But in general, people in our environment do not stay late by accident. And if you take a closer look at those who are next to you, you will understand this
For example, Masha and Dasha. We met at work when Masha was transferred to Dasha's department. After a while, it turned out that they had something in common: an abusive husband, overweight and an adorably unloved job. And on this common ground, they perfectly understood each other and, of course, supported. And then Masha got tired of all this "life" and, for example, went to a psychotherapist. For 28 months, she went through a very difficult, albeit one, to restore her own borders, she believed that everything was in order with her and that she was not at all "dumb-scary-no-one-needed-except-me" at all. I took courses and got a completely different job, albeit with less earnings. In a new place I met other people and began to remember that in the life palette there are other colors and shades besides gray. Masha filed for divorce and, in general, began to receive again - the pleasure of life. And from his already quite happy and contented bell tower, he offers the contacts of his therapist to Dasha. And she refuses, because it does not make sense and will not help her. And he continues to do the same thing at all meetings - to talk about the same problems with the same words. Masha will maintain the relationship for some time, and then most likely she will decide that in general she did what she could and in difficult times she will also be ready to help. But I’m not ready to invest in this story three hours of my life every week. And she will leave to look for other relationships in which she can be not only a cesspool, but she can also share something without remorse for her own happiness.
In the same story, it may not be Masha and Dasha, but Lena and Seryozha, Lesha and Stas, Masha and Olga Nikolaevna. And it doesn't have to be negativity or life's troubles that unite. You can agree on the love of travel and the willingness to conquer Everest and fly to Morocco the day after tomorrow, because we found a hot tour.
And you don't have to be “the same” to be in a relationship. Often people converge with bright opposites and thus compensate for what they themselves lack.
Any relationship has a motive.
Lack of relationships, too. That is, if you are "forced" to be friends with someone, but they are not friends, do not rush to accuse yourself of being unsociable and arrogant. It is quite possible that you are smart and know how to take care of yourself, not agreeing to take what is not good for you. For example, a successful but passive-aggressive girlfriend of her husband's sister's older brother (or mother-in-law / girlfriend of a friend).
When relationships become obsolete, when old schemes stop bringing what they brought, and new ones do not appear, the relationship moves to a new stage of development: they end. Even in spite of hundreds of cool and soulful hours. The past remains in the past, giving way to the new and the actual. And that's okay.
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