2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." (English proverb)
Against the background of the latest discoveries and grandiose technical revolutions, interaction with a mother, like many centuries ago, remains the most powerful and significant in the life of a human being. Only now we understand more about it and use it less. Such a paradox.
The gods of marketing do not benefit from a warm motherly gaze and gentle hugs. This right is given by nature itself for the development of a full-fledged human cub. You can't earn much on this, unless you take it away first. In the clamor of commercial offers “the best for children”, the contribution that a woman invests in her child with a body and emotional connection gradually fades into the shadows and becomes invisible.
Can a loving gaze compare to a stroller for “all the money in the world”?
The cost of the stroller is visible and understandable. To understand the value of the intangible, we must go deep into the structure of a person, his nervous system and the stages of development of the psyche.
It is known that at birth, the emergency response system (dangerous / safe) is activated in the child's brain. From 3 to 9 months, the system of social interaction is activated. And from 1 to 3 years old, the self-regulation system of excitation-inhibition is adjusted. And it is the quality of the interaction "child + adult" through the chain of hormones step by step that includes (or does not include) all parts of the system, which will ensure the regulation of the whole organism (both the psyche and the body)! Interaction with a significant adult (accessible, consistent, sensitive) with age becomes its own intrapsychic space, which regulates the body in the same way as the mother once did.
J. Bowlby gave the definition of this process - attachment. The bond that is formed between mother and child in the first years of life.
There is such a test: the child's reaction to the departure and return of the mother. The ability to let go and meet. There are children who are unable to let go. There are children who do not notice the return. There are children who are angry at the return of their mother, although they suffered greatly without her. There are children who are upset for a short while at separation and rejoice at the meeting.
These are the manifestations of 4 types of connection in the “mother + child” pair (anxious, ignorant, disorganized and safe), which are externally manifested in behavior, but they also have differences in the amount and composition of hormones in the child's body. If the attachment system is disturbed, then this leaves a biochemical trace in the work of the brain and the body as a whole.
Safe attachment makes it possible to develop their own hormones, thanks to which a person is able to find within himself a resource of activity, relaxation and pleasure, entering into healthy relationships with other people. He does not have to look for external substitutes (relaxants or stimulants), becoming dependent on them. He has enough genuine intimacy with another.
That is why "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." You don't have to be a perfect mom to do this. It is enough to be sensitive, approachable and consistent.
As a psychotherapist, I already work with the consequences of attachment disorders, where in long-term regular work there is an opportunity to rewrite the disturbed one (there is such a saying “psychotherapy is the second edition of the first love”).
But I really want to remind you of that priceless gold-currency reserve in the form of a warm look, soft touches, responsive facial expressions and emotional resonance, which are invested in a child's own bank by close adults.
Painting "Lullaby" Riess F. N. Earlier in 1886
Recommended:
The World Is Inside And The World Is Outside. To Understand What Is Happening To You, Look At The People Around
Author: Irina Dybova Source: Help from the hall. The people who surround you, and the stories associated with them, will help you figure out what is happening to you personally, in your own world, in your soul. *** A new teacher came to her daughter's class.
FORMATION OF NARCISSISM. SWINGING CRADLE. PART 2
If the father of the child is a narcissist, this also creates a barrier to the healthy development of the child. The father's absorption in himself, lack of interest in the mother of his child, ignorance of her emotional needs often turns into the fact that there is no other way for a woman but to satisfy her needs by connecting with the child.
MOTHER / FATHER'S HAND AND MOTHER AND FATHER'S HAND TECHNIQUES
The techniques are designed to explore relationships with mother / father, unconscious aspects of interaction in relationships, male and female aspects of personality, conflict zones in relationships with parents. In general, the diagnostic capabilities of the technique are quite wide.
What Is Home In The Modern World: How We Began To Perceive The Safest Place In The World
RELIABLE BERTH The desire to have your own special place in the world is an integral part of human nature. Think of an apartment, a mansion, a barn, or at least a piece of land that you consider your home. Listen to the characteristic images, smells, textures that you associate with this place.
Second Hand Feelings Or This Wonderful Wonderful World
Second hand feelings or this wonderful wonderful world. It can be scary. And then I run away. No matter how much I run, I still stand still. This place is not even and not slanting, it is simply not suitable for the life of the spirit of freedom.
