How To See A "predator"?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Learn to see who is in front of you without falling into illusion. Predators feed on meat, not love.

First of all, to establish contact with yourself, your feelings, needs, interests. If you have a good contact with yourself, then you will certainly notice that in communication with the "predator" your boundaries are violated.

When there is no contact with yourself, you begin to lose yourself in interaction, humiliate yourself, make excuses, sacrifice something very important, allow yourself to be manipulated. It is easy to believe the words, and even when the discrepancy between the words and the actions of the "predator" is obvious, you can easily find dozens of explanations for his behavior. Alarming signals from the inside are drowned out by the burst "someone paid attention to me, it means I am needed / needed", "I was told beautiful words, it means I am important / important."

An acute need for a relationship, born of a destructive relationship with oneself, a kind of hunger, does not inspire to be picky when choosing a partner. But the "predator" has its own hunger, he, while still grabbing small pieces, longs to get closer to you and devour whole. Subordinate yourself, own you, trample, destroy morally, break, because only reveling in the power over a partner, he can get a resource for his existence.

There are “predators” of various sizes, large ones - those who are called psychopaths, people who have no sympathy for others, but do not underestimate the smaller “beasts”. Small "predators" live in almost every one of us, and, with every manipulation, with every violation of psychological boundaries, they eat particles from others, and, oddly enough, even from ourselves. It is not without reason that they say about such people that they "bite into the liver", "eat out the brain", "engage in self-criticism."

So how do you see a "predator"? I propose to see it, first of all, in yourself. The one who eats himself enthusiastically is already a victim by default and is ready to become someone's prey because a person builds relationships with others in the image and likeness of relationships with himself. If you are used to treating yourself carefully, with care and support, then the attack of the "predator" cannot be invisible and will get a chance to be repelled in time. You will see who is in front of you quickly enough.