Dislike For The Fat

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If we try to consider this problem without numerous turns of a snowball, without mutual insults and hatred, then we will see that the eternal dispute between fatties and fitness babies is a dispute about priorities.

Antipathy, which, according to the law of a snowball turns into hatred, is a separate topic, very important, and the breeding ground of the Internet, which accelerates the formation of any addiction and the formation of any hatred, plays a major role here. The Internet is a tool to accelerate all social processes, but for unbalanced people, it becomes a way to quickly lose balance and enter a state of madness. But this is a separate topic.

We are now about the dispute: whether to consider a slender body the most important in life or should not pay attention to it. From the wording it is already clear that both are extremes, and the truth is somewhere in between. Nevertheless, supporters of different extremes constantly clash in battles. Probably in an instinctive search for that very middle.

If something is a priority for a person, then the absence of this in another can cause him a sharp antipathy. It is useless to demand that such a person change priorities and recognize it as insignificant. He cannot change priorities on demand, and he shouldn't. Aggression should be contained and culturally expressed, but not to change one's priorities. This is his right to consider a slender figure as the most important human dignity. If he is a fitness addict, obsessed with the idea of proper nutrition and physical education, then in his field a beautiful ass is a cult, a religion, and arguing with him is like arguing with a religious fanatic.

It is also useless to argue with a sexual fetishist. If we expand the concept of fetish a little, we can say that people whose sexual reactions arise only in response to a certain visual picture and nothing else are sexual fetishists. A fetish is also a kind of fix idea, and it is difficult for such a person to understand how one can feel sexual attraction not to this, but to something else. For him, everything else is nonsexual. A generation of young men has grown up whose sexuality is shaped by porn. Visual imagery used to be very important for men, but now for many it is almost the only incentive.

In general, it is with this that the main conflict is connected. Women, whose figure is far from ideal, who have other priorities in life, who have a healthy lifestyle resource and Image are frustrated, but some other resources are connected, are outraged that many men are interested only in the woman's body and reject according to this principle.

They are frightened by this tendency, because after childbirth the body necessarily changes, albeit reversible, but this requires a lot of strength, and in the process of aging, the body changes irreversibly and even more strength is needed to slightly restrain these changes. Many women are scared of the thought that they are forced to accept as the only standard - the lifestyle of a fit baby, and to imitate such a lifestyle is not only difficult, but does not want to at all, it causes contempt rather than respect in many (which is also not entirely true, physical education and intellectual activity are well combined when there is already a habit). That is, with the idea that being slim is not bad, most agree, but with the idea that being slim is the main thing in a woman, and the better the body, the more chances for love, they strongly disagree. Nobody wants such love. Such "love" only causes chagrin.

This conflict can be reduced to two questions.

1) Is love only sex?

2) Is it only the body that matters for sex?

Let's try to understand these issues.

Most women, when talking about love, include sexual attraction there by default. It seems to them that if you love a person, there should be an attraction for both body and soul. This is true, however, women do not want to think about the difference in sexuality between men and women.

The harsh truth of life is that a woman does not need an erection in sex, but a man does. That is, a woman can a) have sex almost without arousal b) get arousal already in the process of sex, but a man cannot. He must first (!) Want a woman (and quite strongly, and not slightly) and ignite the thought of having sex with her, and only then can he begin sexual intercourse. Otherwise, this act will not be possible at all. That is, if a woman can gradually become aroused in the process of intercourse, closing her eyes and imagining something, a man should be aroused by the sight of a woman and then begin. Or the woman should take on the task of stimulating this man physically and with the help of some kind of stories. But for the second, a good skill is needed, few people know how to do this, and it is also necessary that a man has a taste for this, this also does not happen often. For most ordinary men, "visual" is the main sexual stimulus, if not the only one.

The second harsh truth is that a woman's lack of sex drive does not humiliate a woman as much as a man. Well, a woman does not want sex, and okay, this does not affect her self-esteem in any way. A man who goes to bed with his wife, she offers to have sex, but he “shouldn't,” experiences a negative feeling. It is not surprising that he begins to defend himself against this negative emotion, telling his wife that she has gained too much weight and therefore does not want her. That is, it is wrong that he says so, it is rude, but not surprising. But if the wife does not just ask for sex, but reproaches him that he is impotent, and he tells her about her completeness, then this is even adequate. It's just that women forget what an erection is for male self-esteem, so they allow themselves to say "why shouldn't you?" and do not consider it offensive, but when a man says to them in response "because you have cellulite" (right in rhyme) - they consider it offensive. But this is defensive aggression.

The third harsh truth is that most people naturally experience sexual frustration in marriage. There are many reasons for this, but in a calm and stable relationship, libido with an unpumped resource of sex (and it has been pumped in only a few) is greatly reduced. When pumped, by the way, it also decreases slightly. That is, it may not even be the wife's excess weight, but in general. But since men, like women, do not want to get divorced and break established ties, they begin to look for ways to cope with frustration. And hence the attempts to force the partner to increase her attractiveness.

And finally, the fourth truth - women can live with a man and love him without sex, for them there is enough intimacy, and for a man (average) sex is very important. If he does not decide to divide his personal sphere into his beloved wife and an attractive mistress, but tries to get everything in one place, then life without sex is much more difficult for a man than for a woman. This distorts his self-esteem and violates gender identity and simply causes an accumulation of tension. Sex for a man is an important way of self-regulation of stress.

All this does not mean, of course, that you need to forgive men for treason, betrayal and insults. Of course not. But it is probably worth treating their increased demands for the attractiveness of wives a little more loyal. Not all men are like that, some adore their wives and carry them in their arms despite any external changes. There are also enough such men, but they are wonderful exceptions, and not the rules yet. Such men should be appreciated and proud of such husbands. Well, you can be proud of yourself that you could find such a husband for yourself and build such a relationship with them.