2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If sex is your duty, then you will gradually gain weight, usually by 2-3 kilograms every year, turning into a woman who will not be interesting to your husband.
Very often, being overweight does not signal us about serious health problems, but about problems in relationships or about too many inhibitions in life. Food becomes a "substitute" for love.
That is why, despite all the efforts expended, only very few people really manage to lose weight, and then again not gain the "thrown off" kilograms with difficulty, if psychological problems remain unresolved.
How unmet needs affect excess weight
Reason # 1. Blocked need for love
If in a relationship with your beloved not everything goes well, and you are more silent and sob into your pillow from understatement, expecting that your partner will read your thoughts and desires, then the reason for the night "raids" on the refrigerator is clear. It's much safer to sneak up on the refrigerator, especially at night when no one else sees how to muster the courage and risk changing something in the relationship. We are hindered from doing this by fears of being rejected, exploited, old grudges, habits, and established outlooks on life.
Reason # 2. Blocked need for recognition
You can "push" your own desires into the background and listen only to a man, adjusting to his desires and needs: a late dinner for a loved one, sex when only he wants. "Everything is for you, dear, it doesn't matter that you don't notice me!" Such a willingness to self-sacrifice is fraught with consequences: you can hardly hold back tears, "forget" about yourself - block the need for attention, closeness, or rush to the other extreme: quarrels, tantrums, scandals without constructive solutions - the result of these actions is very similar: we "seize" or "wash down" our own "insignificance".
Reason # 3. Sexual disharmony
One of the reasons for the appearance of excess weight can be considered and … sex. If sex is your duty, then you will gradually gain weight, usually by 2-3 kilograms every year, turning into a woman who will not be interesting to her husband. If, on the contrary, there is a need for sex, but not satisfied, then, again, weight gain is possible. An excited man in such a situation will prefer to indulge in self-satisfaction, and a woman will most likely eat something tasty.
What to do?
1. First, try talking to yourself about your feelings - this is a win-win. Assign them to yourself. "This is me angry, worried." Realize, legalize them. It is more difficult than “stroking” yourself with another chocolate bar, but it doesn’t affect the waist.
2. Begin to listen not only to your desires, but also to your feelings. Do not be silent, talk with your partner about your feelings, in an intimate setting as well.
3. Learn to take care of each other equally.
4. Remember that your thoughts are impossible to read. Silence in relationships leads to feelings of resentment and anger.
5. Reconsider your attitude towards sex - it should turn from a duty to a pleasure.
Prohibitions and overweight
If there are many prohibitions and fears in our life, if we are constantly in control of ourselves due to the fear of rejection of ourselves by another person, then food becomes a means to forget about discipline, control and obligations. What in life can we do for ourselves just like that? There is. In food, we allow ourselves everything - this is a "safe" way to have fun - uncontrolled and limitless. The child's part of the soul understands - you can be capricious and "come off"! In relationships, we do not allow ourselves this.
When a person strives to be perfect, tries to meet high standards and requirements, food sometimes becomes the only outlet.
The solution is simple and difficult at the same time: allow yourself to be different from the ideal and talk to your body and promise that you will be more careful and attentive to it.
Three helpful exercises:
"Pleasure List"
Think and make a list of everything in life that pleases you and your body other than food. Then put this knowledge into practice. You may find that you enjoy massages, aromatic baths, masks and wraps, contrast showers, or belly dancing.
"I'll eat this in 7 minutes."
As soon as you realize that you are heading towards the kitchen, although you are not at all going to eat anytime soon, proceed with this exercise. Instead of opening the refrigerator, tell yourself “I'll eat this in 7 minutes,” and immediately come up with a to-do list that you should be able to do during this time. The urge to eat may go away while you are busy doing these things.
"We break the trigger"
Become aware of the events that trigger and culminate in a painful relationship with food: PMS, lack of sleep, resentment, etc. Try to avoid them or be distracted from them in the future. If it turns out that all of them are somehow connected with your partner, write him a letter. Express whatever you think, uncensored, without hesitation in expressions. Take your time to tear the text into small pieces! Instead, put yourself in the shoes of your partner and try to answer the complaints. This will help relieve tension and understand the situation. And only then tear the paper.
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