2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
ALICE: How can you win when you lose all hope?
HAT: At first you lose all hope, and then everything turns out as well as possible.
ALICE However, hope dies last.
HAT: Ha ha ha break free from your own patterns. Do you think there is only a bummer beyond hope? In fact, only when you lose your last hope can you become truly free. Nothing holds you anymore, you don't care, and you finally get the opportunity to focus on thoughts about what to do, and not about what will now happen. Therefore, when hope dies, know that everything is just beginning, and act differently.
ALICE To act differently in relation to what?
HAT: Doesn't matter. To anything … To yourself, for example. Hope is a consequence of habit - the deadly inertia of maintaining state. Kill hope.
Lewis Carroll
I remember when I was a child I heard a song with the following words: "the whole life is ahead, hope and wait." And it was sung with such pathos, as if it was something very, very correct. Even then, I sensed some kind of catch in this. What if the hope never comes true? And a person waited all his life, and could do something else. And now, many years later I read Irwin Yalom and see there the words “Hope is the greatest evil! It prolongs the agony. " And these words just hit the mark. This is what I intuitively understood, but could not articulate.
How often do we remain in unsatisfying relationships, at an unloved job, in the wrong city, in the wrong country, with the wrong people, just because we hope that something will change and become good. As a result, life can go on in this hope that prolongs the torment.
He's so good when he doesn't drink (uses drugs, cheats, beats, gambling, substitute yours). Maybe he will change? I even promised recently, after the last booze (and 100 more times before that). What can you say to this? Are you satisfied with the way it is now? If not, change the situation. If it doesn't change, leave. And if he still changes? Then speak.
Is your job boring, unhelpful, below your ability? Don't expect it to stay that way. Look for ways to change the situation, they are always there, even if they are not immediately visible.
Is your city too small for you? He won't grow up. In any case, in the next 100 years. The country is not suitable? Look for the right one.
Once upon a time I also stopped myself. And suddenly it does not work, and suddenly it will be even worse, and suddenly …
Now I prefer to leave. From everywhere where I feel bad. From relationships, work, place, country. Not hoping that anything will change. There is only what is at the moment and most likely it will remain so, and if it changes, then somehow it is not the way I would like. And you know, it turns out to be not so scary.
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