How Masha Wanted To Get Out Of Trouble, But She Didn't Succeed

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Masha could not say no. Not because she couldn't speak. And because she thought that if she said no, then she would be in trouble.

Mom and "no" are incompatible concepts. It simply cannot be that a "loving daughter" will refuse to help her mother. And it doesn't matter that after the summer cottages, Machine's back needs a sick leave. Minor repairs and general cleaning in the parental apartment are Masha's responsibility. Otherwise, mom has a heart, tears in her eyes, pursed lips and an ambulance.

And how can you say “no” to a close friend if she came for support and help ?! If you refuse, she will be offended, turn away, and goodbye friendly walks and gatherings dear to your heart.

How can you refuse a boss ?! Well this is a direct path to dismissal. Colleagues, too, cannot be left without their participation, otherwise, when help is needed, it will not be there.

Sex with her husband sometimes causes discomfort, even pain, but Masha cannot refuse the unpleasant, since you cannot refuse a man - she will go to the left. And on Saturday night, she would rather spend with him at home watching a good movie or a walk together, rather than in the company of his friends in a bar.

And then there is a long-standing friend who lives in another city, who, having called "for a minute," talks about everything in a row for an hour and a half. A neighbor on the landing, occupying the passage with her belongings. A paramedic at the front desk making an appointment at an inconvenient time. The seller, reporting two pieces to the requested five "where do I put them, are they the last?"

Masha is silent, smiles or sighs softly so that no one will notice. Says: "Yes, of course!" Silent, smiling. Sighs. Agrees. Silence again. Nods …

One day, her patience runs out. Coming out of my mother, after another general cleaning, colliding with a lingering cleaner at the entrance, yells at her. Loudly, calling the clumsy grouse.

It is pleasant to complain about a close friend, telling intimate details from her life in an unsightly light, to a colleague on a tea break or a smoke break.

The boss for his assertiveness can be let down by not completing the task on time. When disassembling on the carpet, you can blame the IT department that the network was hanging or colleagues who submitted incorrect data.

It is good to catch a husband on carelessness when he is in a complacent mood. I bought the wrong yogurt - to reproach in indifference. He said a word out of place - to tell in bright colors how selfish he is. And if he breaks down in response to a cry, cry and accuse him of cruelty and dislike. You can also oversalt the borscht. Or "accidentally" break his favorite spinning rod while harvesting.

And for the impudence of a long-standing friend, neighbor, paramedic, seller, you can wash their bones with their mother, husband, girlfriend, colleagues, with subscribers in social networks.

This is how Masha lives. In one place it suffers, in another - it drains. Everything would be fine, only for some reason Masha feels herself, in her thirties, tired of life. And with her husband, despite attempts to please him, the relationship does not go well. Colleagues look sideways. Girlfriend makes me sick. I want to poison the neighbor's cat …

The mental mechanism that I described above is called acting out or reacting outside. It is an emotional or behavioral defensive response that can help you deal with inner anxiety. Anxiety is associated with forbidden feelings, desires, obsessive fears, fantasies, and memories.

Losing a frightening situation, a person, unconsciously experiencing fear, turns his passivity into activity. Transforms feelings of helplessness and vulnerability into effective experience and strength, thus relieving inner tension.

Children can be cited as a prime example. The child beats himself or someone around him when there is no way to tell about his emotions or desires.

One of the most dramatic examples of acting out can be seen in childhood incest survivors. A woman seduced and depraved in childhood will play this scenario endlessly. But she will already be seducing, trying to compensate for her childish helplessness through sexual power over Others. A striking example of this is Maryline Monroe.

The acting out / reacting mechanism is good for relieving tension in the here and now. But without resolving the internal conflict and without experiencing the states / memories underlying internal contradictions, it is unrealistic to alleviate the general condition of a person and reduce the number of conflicts with others.