2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is believed that freedom to choose is one of the greatest values. And I, making a choice, realize my will, and I will, of course, get the desired result
But few people say that making a choice is not just choosing something or someone. To make a choice is to give up a lot of everything that does not fall into the point of my choice
Choosing loyalty in a relationship, I give up the freedom that the state of free search for a partner gives. From all this “dance! dance until the morning, from a women's kit in my purse (toothbrush, socks, new tights) - you never know which of your friends will have to spend the night … I refuse that no one has to tell where I am going and when I will return, with whom you do not need to coordinate your plans. At the same time, I give up loneliness and uncertainty.
By choosing not to go to the doctor with an illness that "sleeps" and does not bother me yet, I serve my fear. I refuse the course of treatment (expensive, long, scary, but what if it only gets worse?). Yes, I choose not to go to the doctor - and rest. Not going to the doctor - and the fantasy that everything is fine with me and will always be so. But I refuse what health gives. From the path that, unfortunately, I cannot go until I have undergone treatment, from new roads, from the sweet expectation of a miracle. I choose to run away from fear rather than face difficulties, and at the same time, this choice makes me experience the fear from which I run. Paradox.
Choosing stability, security, I refuse development. There just won't be any changes. I will continue to sit at home behind seven locks and find excuses for my friends why I can't (don't want to!) Go out for coffee with them. My need, often no longer relevant, will serve my lack of money and my illnesses. I refuse new people and roads. From knowledge and risk. From champagne (it is useless for sick people to drink alcohol, moreover, it is a drink of those who are at risk!). I choose powerlessness over strength. And I, only I gave up what gives strength.
In fact, there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing what you want and giving up what you don't want. This is a normal mechanism, it has been working for thousands or even millions of years. However, when my choice begins to determine my life for me and I cannot get out of a relationship where I feel bad, I cannot get out of bed because of the pain, and still, in principle, I don’t go to the doctor, I cannot leave the house and walk along park a hundred meters … When all my strength, and energy, and anger, and thirst serve my choice and do not allow me to live, this is, you must agree, not about freedom.
And it would be good to realize that it is not friends or enemies, not mom and dad, and not even the boss or colleagues who live my life. And at the point where an avalanche of anger and accusations flies on these beautiful people, stop, take part of the responsibility for your choice or rejection of this or that in your life.
And the hardest part is to restrain myself when I see no other choice. Then I can only accept this and show respect for the other, for his decision. I can be there if it is a close person. I can maintain presence if asked to do so. But she definitely shouldn't interfere. Even when choosing pain, fear, anxiety and loneliness.
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