2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
And I want a fur coat - a mink coat, and an iPhone, and also - so that the "plasma" was, like a neighbor's - two meters diagonally. You want so much … You want to live "like a human being", but for this you have to "work hard and hard" …
Life is like that; what is it? "Everyone lives like that!" We met, hugged, kissed, and then you look away - the child was born! Well, just think, I was born, but I - I "have to work"! After all, I don't have a European-quality repair in my apartment, and my family doesn't have an iPhone! Not a single asshole showed up!
More or less everything "develops" well if "I" is a man. It is customary from the point of view of public perception, a woman's relationship is not too dramatic in relation to a child. Although, bezoslonov, the child needs a dad. But a socially established father with financial power in the family is a good example of a man, both for a girl and a boy.
And if "I" is a woman, mom? A newborn is in his arms, the body still remembers the birth, in his thoughts - these interesting memories of his own awkward actions in relation to the baby on the first day of his life … Work! Need to work!
"Everyone works", what's wrong with that? In addition, there is something to eat, but I want to go to the sea! Yes, and a fur coat, that very … mink …
Problems while the child is small are not obvious. Well, she screams at night, is capricious, seemingly, for no reason. Up to three months can be attributed to stomach cramps, up to two years - to teeth, if they are not okay..
In the meantime, important things are happening in the life of this little man. A support is formed that will be with him throughout his life - attachment is formed, and in fact, a reliable base is formed for exploring the world around him and, in fact, himself.
A working model of relations with loved ones and the outside world is being formed. In fact, the personality of the child is formed.
If attachment is formed competently - the mother does not prevent the child from exploring the new, but at the same time is able to maintain the familiar, the familiar - the child has fertile ground for new experience.
Work? Yes please. After all, you can think of a reason why the mother of the newborn will go on a five-day work schedule, and the dad, getting home after a similar load, will prefer football to communication with the baby. There is little money, you want to “try” the technology, and most importantly, you want to give the child the “best” (a synonym in the current case with the word “Expensive”).
But if you do not dramatize and bring to the point of absurdity, then, of course, you can work. It is important to understand that work with a mother until the child is 1, 5-3 years old should look rather like a hobby, when some “free” time from healthy interaction with the child will be allotted to work.
Of course, the appearance of a child in a family should not create a stressful situation for parents and make serious adjustments to the life of the family. But if, for example, a mother can combine child care, communication with him and sewing - why not take advantage of this coincidence?
However, do not rush to poke women at the monitor and show that, they say, you can! Can you combine the function of a mother, wife and financially independent person? Can! However, you should not forget about the balance.
We are all different. And mothers are different. And dads.
So, if in the situation of the appearance of a child and up to 1, 5-3 years old:
- the mother feels emotionally drained
- the mother has genetically or psychosocially determined personality traits (hysterical reactions, fatigue of attention, anxious reactions, depressive reactions, etc.)
- has to devote too much time to the child (or several children) to meet basic needs (feed the child, drink, put to bed, etc.),
- the child itself has complex biological prerequisites for development (difficult childbirth, congenital diseases, registration with a neurologist in connection with certain developmental features)
- lack of support from significant relatives
- there is no possibility of remote work (due to the peculiarities of the chosen profession, the peculiarities of the labor market, physical, moral, social characteristics of the personal warehouse of the mother, etc.) -
then, apparently, it is quite difficult to talk about combining and (or) finding a job in general.
Therefore, the question of the attitude of each particular family towards working mothers or mothers who combine work with children is purely individual.
_
The final of the article is open today. Everyone will make a conclusion for himself. Work? Bring up? Build affection? Or pay off with the "best" typewriter or the newest doll that can "do everything"?
Good luck!
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