2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It often happens that a person who seems to have everything for a fulfilling life does not feel happy and harmonious. And the other, objectively living in very constrained life circumstances, nevertheless feels joy and enjoys life. What does it depend on?
Of course, psychological attitudes and traumas received in the process of personality formation have a huge impact on the ability to experience pleasure from the very process of life.
How could it look like?
For example, a child saw how hard life was for his parents, saw them tired and irritated, suffering, they often said that "life is hard", "life is only suffering."
It was not customary in the family to rejoice - "don't laugh, otherwise you will cry", "you rejoice early."
They depreciated the child's joys - “I found something to be happy about, my mother was tired, the apartment was a mess, there was no money, but he was having fun”, they were deprived of pleasures - “there is nothing to have fun, do better business”.
Attention to the child was only in situations when he was sick or crying, that is, suffering was the only way to get love.
In this case, the child will bring with him into adulthood the habit of suffering, taking life negatively, finding secondary benefits in suffering, using them as a way to get what he wants. That is, suffering will be the norm for him.
In adulthood, it may always seem to him that he lacks something for happiness. But getting what he wants, he still cannot enjoy it to the fullest, there is always something that prevents him from rejoicing.
Also, if the child's desires were suppressed, replaced by the desires of the parents, then he can unconsciously realize other people's desires and goals all his life, and, of course, he will also not be able to feel satisfaction from their implementation.
Working with such clients is usually long-term and includes:
- working out negative attitudes that affect their lives;
- a gradual shift in the focus of attention from negative aspects of situations to positive ones;
- developing the habit of focusing attention on the moment here and now, instead of scrolling through the head unpleasant moments of the past or negative fantasies about the future;
- the formation of the skill to satisfy their needs in healthy ways;
- clarification of the true desires of the client;
- the use of meditations and affirmations gives a good effect.
Do you manage to enjoy life?
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