2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Probably, for those who are fond of psychology, it is no longer a secret that our childhood experience greatly influences our relationships in adult life. And this applies to all forms of relations: with oneself, with another or others, with the world …
Therefore, in the course of psychological counseling and psychotherapy, it is very important to investigate the client's "childish" topic, which, even if there were difficult and problematic moments, contains a huge resource that is hidden NSe potential opportunities for self-realization in life.
Deserves special consideration et topic of separation from parent figures.
Separation is one of the most important stages of personality formation, which is expressed in the emotional and physical (as well as financial) separation of the child from the parents. The active phase of this process starts in adolescence, when a person questions parental values and attitudes.
The separation should ideally be pass the through teenage rebellion, lead a person to a sense of independence in early adulthood. By age standards, this is about 21 years old.
Separation is necessary because it leads to the ability to distinguish yourself, your feelings and desires from others, to understand what belongs to you and what belongs to your mother or partner. After separation, there is a space inside that allows you to accept and love yourself.
At the same time, separation remains a difficult line of personality formation
And when the separation does not happen on time, then a woman or a man begins to create symbiotic relationships, that is, those that provide for the merger and absence of their own psychological space, with partners or children.
There may be another option: they are not able to let another person close to themselves and are in a detached relationship with others.
Separation is a big life task for every person. And depending on how he solves it for himself, the quality of his future life, as well as satisfaction with himself and close relationships, largely depends.
A very good example of fusion was described by Irwin Yalom in one of his stories. A man turned to him for advice, but in the course of therapy, it turned out that, first of all, it was necessary to work with his wife. She was so in fusion with her husband that all her life she completely subordinated her to his routine and needs and practically did not leave the house, having neither friends nor her own business.
It is very difficult to be in such a relationship, even if the person with whom you live is the most beloved and desired. Because we need our own space like air.
A person really needs social contacts, but he also needs to be alone with himself or with his hobby.
And the constant control of each other can turn even the most beautiful and sincere feelings into poison.
If you recognize yourself in these lines and understand that unresolved relationships with your parents prevent you from forming harmonious relationships with the people around you, come to consultations. Let's unwind this ball together!
Full-time consultations (Kiev) and online.
Write to the mail ([email protected]) or call: 0990676321 (Viber, WhatsApp, Telegram).
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IRINA Pushkaruk
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