The Importance Of Precontact In A Relationship

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If, after reading a lot of articles, long doubts and self-reflection, you still did not find a solution to your problem on your own and decided to turn to a psychotherapist, here is a guide for you in the very important first meetings in therapy. In your acquaintance

The psychotherapist is neither a magician nor a telepath. Therefore, for the first few meetings, he will ask you about your problem, about how you live now and, in general, about your entire previous life, including childhood. Already at the stage of systematic storytelling, many clients have a wide range of experiences. Indeed, in itself, the awareness of one's life in sequence can clarify many things for the narrator, make something clearer, more prominent. It also happens that the client succeeds in putting together a clear and consistent story about himself not on the first or second attempt.

Anyway, these first meetings are very important for both sides. The therapist receives the necessary information about the client, and the client, speaking it, realizes at what point in life he is now, and how he came to it. Plus, while one person tells the other about himself, a safety phase called "pre-contact" is experienced.

This is a very important stage in any relationship, when trust is established, when there is an opportunity to consider each other, sniff, settle into new territory. Depending on the specific therapist and client, this phase can last from 3 to 10 meetings.

In Gestalt there is even such an expression - “to fly into contact”, when, not having time to notice either ourselves with our state, or the place-context, or another person nearby, we begin to “do” something. And this is something quite difficult to realize, since we skipped the orientation phase from anxiety and, continuing to ignore this anxiety, we are trying to be distracted by some kind of interaction. And since there is already enough "something" in our daily life, in therapy it is important to act gradually, in small steps, realizing with the help of the therapist exactly how I am used to acting.

It is known that the therapeutic relationship is a fairly accurate model of the client's relationship with the outside world. And it is very desirable, knowing yourself, not to insist here to act in the same way. Therapy is also a way to gain new experience, which means - do not fuss and be attentive to yourself.

If you are always in a hurry, next to the therapist you will be able to notice how and why you do it. If you are too slow and often not keeping up with those around you, it will be interesting to understand why you need so much time.

Everything we do in our daily life either feeds us or wears out our energy. The therapeutic relationship, how it is built, will tell you a lot about you. The better the contact, the better you get to know each other, the freer and more constructive your work will be in the future. Precontact allows me to orient myself, including whether this particular person is right for me, whether to move further in recognizing him and in opening himself. Whether to enter into a relationship with him, or get out of them. Trust yourself, your feelings next to others - after all, this is the most reliable guide.