2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is a lot of talk now about victim syndrome. Especially in the context of family relationships. When a woman is physically abused by her husband. It is really scary if a woman lives under the flag "Beats, then she loves!" Metaphorically speaking, the situation when a man raises his hand against a woman can be called a disease - "gangrene", here no lotions and ointments (persuasion and calling to conscience) will help. There is only surgery, and complete amputation. In a family, this means divorce!
How does it happen that a loving man is “ready to kill” ?! The reasons for abusing (violence) should be looked for much earlier. Even at the stage of courtship, building relationships, during the candy-bouquet period. The first symptoms are there. People call it "grinding", but in the world of psychology it sounds much tougher and more real - spiritual or psychological violence. Many girls turn a blind eye to their disrespectful attitude towards themselves. In their desire to get married and in fear of losing their chosen one, they often blame themselves and justify him, try to explain to themselves and to others that they simply did not understand each other. But in fact, "he is not like that!" and sincerely believe that when they put the coveted stamp in the passport, it will definitely change, will love and respect his wife. Indeed, love is evil …
What is the manifestation of spiritual violence? At first, a man's violent behavior can manifest itself in an almost imperceptible form of manipulation and a desire to control. All this is disguised as interest - he needs to know everything! Where were you, with whom, what did you say, what you bought, who called, wrote? … Intrusiveness is another symptom of the disease. When a young man calls and writes too often, not letting his chosen one breathe, he “strangles” her with his attention and love. Unfortunately, the enamored Juliet also likes it and she is not able to appreciate this importunity soberly and on time.
"Lovely ones scold only amuse themselves." But how they scold is a whole field for diagnostics. Here are just some indicators and examples of unhealthy relationships in love:
- He allows himself to use rude, uncensored words, nicknames, comparisons, and labeling such as "stupid", "fat", "stupid", "look at yourself!", "But who needs you?"
- The accusations on his part, they say it is her own fault, it was you who provoked me, brought me / brought me, "I was not like that before," "Well, I gave you my soul, and you!"
- He takes offense and ignores attempts to make peace. Silence like a cold war. These are all manipulations to make the girl feel guilty.
- Manifestation of greed and not a desire to "invest" in a relationship. Everyone pays for himself. Lack of gifts and courtesies. Reproaches that he spent too much money, time and attention on you.
- Threats. A promise to follow and lead you to clean water. Threats that he will commit suicide and it will be on your conscience.
- Slander and humiliation. For example, in the company he allows "loving" to tease the girl and laugh at her "weirdness". Or openly denounce her shortcomings, like "but mine can't even cook."
- And finally, extortion or innocent "borrow until payday", please help in a difficult situation and get a loan for yourself …
Spiritual abuse is often hidden and well disguised, many of its forms are difficult to recognize, but if the above is present in your relationship, rest assured that you are facing a future abuser. And it won't be long before he allows himself to move on to the next stage - physical, and even sexual violence. Be vigilant and sober, lovely girls! Violence is the essence of war. Do you want a life-long war?
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