2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“I can’t be happy, I just don’t have enough money for it,” a friend once complained to me. We sat in a cafe, drank delicious coffee and talked about world peace. At first I did not pay attention to this phrase, but on the way home I thought about it. What about my life? How do I buy myself pleasure? Can I be happy without spending money on it? What, after all, is happiness for me?
Advertising, social networks, books about successful people promote the idea of happiness as a kind of goal, a state that you can come to and stay in it for a long time or even forever. It's always good, joyful and cozy there. Happy people smile on Facebook pages, travel abroad for vacations, have successful businesses and wonderful families. But is it really so?
For me, happiness is and state, and process, and moment … I am happy when I am safe, when I have close people whom I love, when I am realized as a specialist and as a woman. This is condition can last for weeks or days.
I am happy when things are going well, when an idea comes to life, when I try on a new dress, when I have the opportunity to drink coffee in the kitchen every morning and pinch off small pieces of chocolate muffin, when others do not hide their joy and I can share it … in this case, happiness for me is process … It has a beginning and an end, and lasts a short period of time. I can trust this process, surrender to it and enjoy it.
Friends have children, I receive a long-awaited letter, the meeting, despite my fears, went well, I went to a master class and painted a beautiful picture, they called from home and said that everything is fine, everyone is healthy … In such cases, I can worry moments happiness. I am happy, I am smiling. Even if the situation and events in my life are sad, I can experience a short, small, but very cozy happiness. I am happy, and I hope that everything will be fine …
Of course, I do not have the cherished three-room apartment, and I do not ride my own car, but by tram or bicycle, and sometimes there is not enough money, and friends sometimes disappear from sight - everyone has their own life … And then it helps me skill To be happy. This is such a quality of character that allows you to experience happiness, enjoy, feel pleasure, despite the persistent attempts of consciousness to run in circles and shout "everything is gone.":) And now I am not writing about ignoring reality, those difficult moments that exist in our life. And about the fact that you can notice both the bad and the good, experience sadness, and joy, and anxiety, and happiness, depending on the situation and circumstances.
Back to money … When I was just developing the skill to be happy, I made myself two lists. In one she wrote 25 things that make me happy for money. There were books and dresses, trips abroad, gatherings in cafes, trips to the cinema and theater, rides, horses, photo sessions, trainings and gifts … And indeed, without all this, life would be much sadder. But is there more to it than that?
The other list included 25 things to do that make me happy for free. I began to write with fear, but point by point I understood that fifty would not be enough for me. Because there are so many things that I love that make me happy and that I forget about, concentrating on what requires a financial investment … I like to wake up half an hour earlier, make myself a cup of coffee and start the morning in peace and quiet, with coffee and your favorite book. I like to hug comfortably, sleep a lot, catch inspiration by the tail and write interesting stories, I love to see these stories on the pages of my favorite publication … I am happy when I walk around a newly ideally decorated apartment and when I treat my loved ones with my own delicious treats, when I dream and fantasize,when I walk for a long time in a park or forest, when I go late at night in an empty tram, and when I go to visit my grandmother. I experience moments of happiness along with fatigue when I run in the park, when I dance. And when I'm sick, I like to stay in bed, drink tea with raspberries and watch TV shows all day … The list is endless. But it doesn't make any sense if you don't look into it at least sometimes.
If you think happiness comes only from money, try making these two lists. Write down things that are important to yourself. See which sheet has more points. Why do you think? Try to find in your life what gives you joy, what you love, and this does not require financial investments from you. The next step is the hardest. Just do it! Just do it. Take a walk in the park, make an appointment with important people, make a cup of cocoa from a marshmallow (what else is on your list?) … Try to feel happiness by touch.
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