Are Our Habits Our Lives?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Often, habits are contrasted with the conscious choice of an adult to do something or not to do something.

On the one hand - there is truth in this - we are free to choose and control our actions.

On the other hand, if we controlled our every action, every thought, every choice, we would constantly be in a situation of stress and heightened anxiety, since there are a lot of external stimuli in life.

All habits can be schematically grouped in 3 directions:

• the habit of thinking in a certain way, making decisions based on these thoughts;
• habits of doing certain things;
• the habit of reacting in a certain way to some external stimuli.

In fact, the automatic actions and decisions that are hardwired into us determine the choices we make in life:

• whether we see opportunities or challenges;
• how we act when faced with difficulties;
• what is important for us in building interpersonal relationships;
• how we define and protect (if necessary) personal boundaries;
• and much more.

Many authors argue that 21 days is enough to form a new habit.

I am sure that at least once in your life you tried to implement something that same 21 days … and after a heroic period of perseverance and work, the habit did not take root. Why?

The question is what kind of habit you wanted to develop in yourself, how close / distant it is to what is now in your life, how long have you been doing different behavior / thinking / response, whether your environment and environment support you, and much more other factors. Thus, it can take more than 21 days for a stable habit to form.

Things to look out for if you are on your way to a new habit:

• your values and the value of the new habit in their hierarchy (does the new habit go in conflict with your internal attitudes);
• your environment and the environment that surrounds you (helping or hindering);
• your motivation and actions during "kickbacks" back (they will definitely be, this is one of the stages taught and the formation of new behavior);
• the number of new habits that you want to implement at the same time (the more new actions, the higher the stress and the more likely that the body will work to defend itself against new "enemies");
• discipline and control (monotonous tracking of what worked out, what did not work out, correcting actions so that the habit became automatic).

So maybe you should just give up and not think about habits?

It is possible, but then you will have exactly the quality of life that you have now, there will be no qualitative leap.

In addition, all successful people who talk about their lifestyle at least always talk about several important habits for them:

• health care (proper balanced nutrition, regular sports);
• work and rest regime (there is always a schedule for the next few months);
• respect for other points of view, the ability to listen and hear (what helps them develop their projects and convey value to the consumer);
• positive thinking and skills to see opportunities and resources in any situation.

In other words, in order to get some new result in life, you will have to do something differently.

Habits are what can be your helper, or can be your obstacle.

Finally, I suggest you think about 3 questions:

• What are the Top 3 bad habits in your life now that you would like to change?
• What are the Top 3 good habits that would allow you to achieve your desired goals faster?
• What are the Top 3 Little Habits that you could already be implementing starting tomorrow?

I wish each of you to have those habits that are helpers and engines for you, not obstacles!