2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The disease is multifaceted and multifaceted. Through her there is a search for solutions, family conflicts, secrets are manifested, she exposes violations in child-parent relations and in the family hierarchy. And then an opportunity arises - to reconsider something and start changes or tighten the existing knot even tighter.
Once in the hospital, many adolescents regress - capriciously demands that their mother brush his teeth, take off his pants in the toilet, when, in fact, he can cope with it himself. This is how the mother receives "greetings" from an earlier relationship with her child. In general, many parents are convinced that nothing will ever come back to them like a boomerang. When a child slowly eats, dresses for a long time, does not fasten properly, and we are always in a hurry and fuss, we redo everything with irritation, shame or yell, we kill initiative, providing a huge field for the weeds of passivity.
Any illness is always a test for the family, but first of all for the teenager himself. Will he take a step towards independence, will he begin to develop the skill of taking care of himself, will he open up to responsibility for his life? Most guys prefer infantilism and refuse the opportunity to embark on the path of their own maturity. There are too many benefits in the disease, it is almost impossible to refuse.
Most mothers do not even try to "switch" their state of being a lifeguard to something else. There are too many benefits in such a familiar and convenient role - always in business and always in demand. There is something to fill your own emptiness. The boy is 17 years old, he can carry the ship behind him, but why? If mom happily picks up and hurries to prevent any of his independent action. The mothers of the lifeguard believe that by taking care of the 18th, 20th or 30th child in illness, they help the recovery indescribably. And on the explanation that improvement does not come, due to the lack of motivation for the child to be healthy, they take offense, spreading blasphemy about doctors all over the outskirts and villages, and drive themselves even more into the mission of a lifeguard.
It is impossible to save a person from his illness against his will. He has to do it himself. But as long as there is benefit, much is wasted.
Why do mothers of lifeguards, even knowing what their behavior is fraught with, stubbornly prevent their child from turning to recovery? The desire for control and power, the rejected and condemned Shadow becomes powerful. And then the teenager has the last word - to break away from his mother, abandoning comfortable infantilism and passivity, or to remain forever in the shadow of that very Shadow, putting his fate at his mother's feet.
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