I'm Not Interested In This Anymore

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The language we speak is an interesting thing. I do not mean any particular language, Russian or Mongolian, I mean the "signal system" that we use to express thoughts. Even if I, as a native speaker of my language, speak with another native speaker, it is not at all obvious that we will really understand each other, that my combination of symbols will be relevant to my interlocutor, as well as vice versa. When you start learning another language, which has a different system of symbols, you understand that what we say is not always what we want to say, your favorite phrase here will be: "I didn't mean it." That is, even within ourselves there is a confusion between "I think", "I mean", "I pronounce", which during dialogue can easily lead to a quarrel. If we take two multilingual people, then communication there is even worse, since it is no longer only a matter of a set of symbols, but of a cultural implication. Let's just say, if in the English-speaking culture it is normal to call each other "stupid" and no one takes it seriously, then in the Russian-speaking society it is quite possible to get smacked in the face for this, and then explain for a long time that "I was joking." In order to achieve more or less complete mutual understanding, we need to have a similar set of symbols and a similar cultural background, similar internal references, so to speak. That is, for both of us, "carrot" should mean the same thing, without second meanings, implications, allegories and references to something that is understandable only by virtue of the environment in which I or my interlocutor grew up.

In order to deal with our psychological problems, we talk with someone: with a psychologist, a coach, a friend, that is, we use a speech set of signs, and I often hear in sessions how a client says: “I don’t know how it is describe / I don’t know what to call it”, while we speak the same language, and the probability that words have different meanings for us is reduced to zero. “I feel something that I can’t even describe clearly, but I also have to work with it!” In such cases, I ask clients to describe the image of what they are thinking, and I can understand what kind of vibration it is, and in which direction to turn the questions. Moreover, when we start to work on “digging out” and “curing” internal problems, we at the same time begin to be more attentive in the use of words, and we see an energetic difference between the phrases “I will try to do this”, “I intend to do this”, “I clearly know what result I need and I go for it. " What I say, regardless of whether it is consciously or not, affects my life, because it leaves a mark in my outer space, on some lunar days you are directly warned: “Be careful with what you say, especially if you are in you put energy. " I also warn clients about "self-fulfilling prophecies", everything you say may well have very real consequences, and phrases in the style of "Oh, yes, I always do this", or "I still won't succeed", “Well, what can I do, I'm so unlucky” is not a harmless set of letters. Think about why you say them and what you really want to have in your life.

In a sense, the phrase that I put into the title is "magic". She came to me several years ago, one might say “by accident”, when I didn’t know how to get out of a relationship that didn’t suit me. I tried the options “I want to get rid of this relationship,” “I express my intention to end this relationship,” and even “I want a different relationship,” but inside it did not “click” and the cubes did not fold into a pyramid. All the same, there were some fragmentary emotions, maybe regret, or some part of me still longed to preserve these relationships, seeing them as valuable to myself, and everything continued to drag on painfully, bringing me neither benefit nor joy. The way out of such an emotional "swamp" is most often anger, as a cleansing and liberating emotion, but sometimes fear helps. In simple terms, the phrase sounds either like: “Burn it all yourself, you know what, tired of it,” or like: “Well, live like this for another thirty years, and there is already a pension nearby, relations are not needed there”. Conventionally, a person who is stuck in something that does not suit him, but is habitual, can either be pissed off or scared. There is a third option, "leave alone," but if this is your client or yourself, provided that your love for yourself is still there, it does not work.

Imagine with what emotion you switch the TV channel, or a movie, or put aside a book that you do not plan to read. Maybe at first you were captured by the plot, or you liked the main character, or something else “hooked”, and then you realized that there was no point in continuing, and most importantly, you don’t care how it all ends there. It doesn't matter what you spent an hour or two on this film, and it is not scary that you may not find anything more interesting at all, or even that this film is written about in all the media and it is absolutely necessary to watch it so as not to be considered “lagging behind life ". This is no longer interesting to me. You can go to sleep, you can take a walk, you can read a newspaper, but nothing more connects you with the film, you “let go”. I think a similar feeling appears among those who have made the final decision about dismissal from work or divorce: yes, it is clear that you have to go through certain unpleasant conversations and actions, but the decision has been made, it is final and cannot be changed. "Having taken off their head through their hair, they do not cry", just in the subject.

Interest is one of the important positive emotions for a person; in the duality of sensations, it is viewed as the opposite of disappointment, and when performing exercises for the “turn” we use it as a “couple” (another option is “admiration”). Agree, it is much easier and easier to work where you are interested, and in a pair, people are more comfortable with each other if they know how to maintain interest in themselves with their partner (this, in fact, is not difficult, the question here is whether you are interested in your life in principle). If we twist in the opposite direction, we will see that the lack of interest leads us to a dead end, I am not even talking about the next stages such as "boredom" or "disappointment", it leads us to the desire to just leave. “I’m not interested in this anymore” seems to cut off the bonds that kept you in one state or another, it’s even stronger than “I don’t need this”, and much stronger than “I don’t want to”.

Of course, it's not just about saying these words, we need to get the energy of a strong inner intention, it will do everything that we need, in the best possible way for everyone. If you do not have such an unconditional determination to end something in your life, or it seems to you that you do not see it, it makes sense to look for secondary benefits, as psychologists say, which most often boil down to the fact that “I just feel more comfortable sitting and complain, in the expectation that it will somehow dissolve by itself, but in this case, you will get something that you do not really need and does not lead anywhere, because if you yourself do not turn the streams of your life into the desired you side, then it will be done by someone else, but that this someone knows better how to live your life, I strongly doubt.

Freedom to you and informed choices, Yours, #anyafincham