2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are many desires in us. But one of them is the most intimate and most bitter - to become the most beloved and best for your parents. And such a person is capable of a lot - a career that makes him sick, a marriage in which is lonely, concessions in which his personality becomes less and less. A person does everything to please, to please his own parents, to hear praise and admiration from them. And the most important thing is to get recognition that it was not in vain that they gave birth to him.
And without knowing it, he lives someone else's life. It strengthens parental attitudes within itself - “DO NOT BE YOURSELF”.
Every year the guilt, which nevertheless disappointed the parents in some way, only grows and poisons the soul. This toxicity permeates all areas of life - and now guilt already goes hand in hand with fear.
It’s scary to say “no” - it will offend Mom. It’s scary to say “yes” - it will offend both mom and dad. It’s scary to say “I want to live my life” - after all, this will offend not only parents, but also all beloved relatives.
And each time, yielding and pleasing, a person hears that he has not made it again, again not as it should be, again at the neighbor's Masha or Vitya it is getting better and faster.
This is the trap in which many are stuck for many decades. There is nothing wrong with being the best for your parents, just a whole life is laid into this desire.
And after all, in fact, you can do it differently!
Many do not even know that they live in a parent script and still respect parental settings. Sometimes bitterness rolls in life, sometimes loneliness takes by the throat, sometimes everything collapses out of the blue, sometimes losses follow losses, sometimes a serious and dangerous illness happens in full health, sometimes relations are like a carbon copy with different partners and there are “sometimes” millions of them.
It is important to see what attitudes are still working inside you, to “see clearly” in whose scenario you live as “mother’s”, where all men are goats and don’t dare trust anyone; or "daddy's", where all the women are fools and cheaters and you have to tear everyone's throats, otherwise they will trample.
Only openly looking at what you are immersed in and what you are carrying instead of your parents - you can begin to move towards your individual scenario.
Why is it important:
1. To finally find a solution to the feeling of guilt and fear that is not what the parents wanted. It's okay to be yourself crashing!
2. To finally understand the parental attitudes and stop manipulating yourself and your state. It's okay when you are in charge of yourself!
3. To unpack all claims and grievances against parents and release your energy. It's okay when you want to live by your own rules!
4. To stop letting yourself be used, your time and your resources, and direct all this to your life. It's okay when you take care of yourself through the word "no"!
5. To shift your focus from suffering to your accomplishments, even if your parents persist in devaluing them. It's okay when you know how to value your personality and soul.
Do you want to live in your script?
Do you have a lot of grievances and grievances against your parents?
Do you already know what parental attitudes are going on in you?
Write your answers in the comments
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