2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Why do identical twins, genetically identical organisms, grow up to differ from each other in their personal qualities? There is a well-known joking answer to this question. Because in infancy, the second sat on an already warm pot. As with any joke, this one also has truth. I want to talk about sibling competition and the impact of birth order.
I think that everyone who has brothers or sisters, even to a small extent, but faced competition, envy, rivalry and even hostility in relations with them.
How do seniors feel? To understand (remember) it is enough to conduct a thought experiment. Imagine, you live your well-established life and at one unfortunate moment you are informed that from such and such a date an absolutely stranger, a stranger, will live with you, in your home. Will come and live. He will take a sleeping place, eat, use your utensils and gadgets, distract with conversations and worries of your loved ones, demand attention and care from you. Moreover, no one asks your consent. And what's more, for some reason, you are required to have a positive attitude towards this stranger.
How about the younger ones? All other things being equal, they risk living with the constant feeling that they are one step behind. To paraphrase an old song a little - "while I grow up to major, my sister will become a general."
More than 2000 studies of the influence of birth order are known to modern science. There are also works in which the data of these studies were subjected to meta-analysis. I have noticed the following results. Rivalry between children in a family is natural and normal. Its presence does not mean that parents are doing something wrong. In general, it leads to the development of creativity and contributes to the fact that each of us finds his own niche in life. General statistics are as follows. Firstborns are more conscientious, aggressive and conservative than younger ones. Their extroversion is directed towards dominance. Seniors are more emotionally unstable in terms of their propensity to outbursts of anger. The younger ones are more sociable and significantly peer-oriented, prone to innovation and protest.
There is an interesting historical study of more than 6,500 participants in major upheavals in science and politics. A statistically significant majority of these people, regardless of gender, were the second children in the family. This does not seem surprising. It is difficult to compete with the elder brother - the master of the spear. But you can come up with something new and become an archery master.
I believe that each of us, being a social being, manifests his individuality by interacting with others. Each of us strives to achieve our own goals. Each of us perceives the world through the prism of our own subjectivity. All this means that conflicts cannot be avoided. Brothers and sisters have no choice to enter into conflict or not to enter into conflict. You can only decide how to deal with these conflicts. And statistics show that the majority resolve conflicts efficiently. After all, more than 80% of brothers and sisters over 60 are in close, warm relationships.
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