How The Masochistic Character Was Formed

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How is masochistic character formed? What kind of childhood did a masochist have, and what influenced the formation of a somewhat perverted temperament?

The main aspect of the formation of a masochistic character is physical or psychological abuse in childhood, in some cases, both. In addition, after the child was abused, he received attention, care and love. In especially severe cases, it was possible to receive parental affection and tenderness only through pain.

Many researchers notice that after a kind of turning point in the life of a child, girls and boys develop personality and the formation of individual characteristic features of temperament in different ways. Girls are more prone to developing a masochistic pattern and become victims, while boys most often identify themselves with a sadist and aggressor, adhering to this line of behavior with people around them and acting out on them for their "crippled" childhood. Of course, such a model of behavior is not the norm, and there are exceptions to the rule.

From their life experience, many psychotherapists note that in all people with masochistic inclinations there is a lot of aggression, which is carefully hidden and suppressed, but often manifests itself in a passive form. For example, provocation to aggression is a kind of passive aggression. In general, it can be judged that aggression is developed at the same level in the provocateur and the one who is provoked, in the masochist and sadist.

In the masochistic character, more than in other types, a phenomenon manifests itself, which Freud called "Obsessive repetition." Life is arranged quite unfairly - the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, the traumatized get more injuries, the one who suffered the most in childhood continues to suffer in adulthood. Accordingly, a child who grew up in the scenario of "pain, love, pain, love", becoming an adult, continues to "find" similar relationships and experiences. Often, the people around him believe that this situation was created by the sufferer himself. But this is not so - such is the scenario of his life, which "mystically" reflects the conditions of childhood. For this person, it is more understandable to be in suffering, to receive pain through suffering. He simply does not know any other way to live, and his life path was predetermined and recorded in childhood.

In the first seven unconscious years of childhood, the character, fate and scenario of life are formed, but by studying and analyzing your actions and behavior, you can change this scenario too.

For many masochists, parents performed only a functional role, including emotionally in their lives only when the child was in great pain, he got into trouble or was in danger. In such situations, attention, care and positive emotions did not appear at all in relation to the child - he simply did not exist for dad and mom. Such children feel abandoned and worthless, realizing that they can receive a little love and attention only after experiencing a certain amount of pain and suffering. In these families, the child begins to exist for the parents at the moment when they begin to “educate” him, punish him and beat him: “You must do this! Do not do it any other way! The formula of parental care for a baby becomes extremely clear - love is equal to sadism in relation to him. If the attitude changes, fear appears - maybe I don't exist anymore?

Masochistic individuals have a very big dip in the zone of loneliness. They feel lonely and unnecessary and feel abandoned all the time. But precisely because of these sensations, so that they are not abandoned and left alone, masochists are ready to endure humiliation, resentment, physical pain. Being alone is the most painful thing that can be for a masochist. Often people with masochistic inclinations can hear such phrases: “If you leave me, I will do something for myself (for example, kill myself or cut myself).

If individuals with the character of a masochist are separated from loved ones, to whom they are sincerely attached and loved, they feel emptiness and unbearable fear, to the point that they cannot sleep and eat normally. It is much more acceptable for them to see a dear person who can offend and oppress them - if only he would not leave!

How to deal with this? In general, the therapy of masochistic and depressive nature is very similar, as are some aspects of the formation of these types of temperaments (for example, childhood, in which parents are functional, not empathic, criticize their child's behavior patterns and give free rein to feelings). What's the Difference? At the very beginning of the life history of masochists, there is always at least one sympathetic and empathic person (one of the parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, educators, teachers, possibly friends).

Another aspect of the formation of a masochistic personality is the encouragement and support of others, admiration for the courage and patience of the little man, with whom he endures all the misfortunes and suffering. As a result, the child developed a completely understandable feeling - the more I suffer, the better and respected I am. This unconscious idea is deeply rooted in consciousness, persecuting in adulthood and leading in the end to the fact that all suffering is inexplicably attracted to a person.

In general, the topic of a masochistic nature is very burning and interesting, it always leaves a lot of questions and even more sympathy and powerlessness. However, the most effective approach in pathological cases is psychotherapy. It is very difficult to help a close friend or girlfriend with a masochistic character, and it is doubly difficult to feel sympathy and powerlessness next to him, not to mention the feelings of the sufferer himself.