2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I bring to your attention a short test questionnaire for the presence of a victim complex, masochistic traits in character:
We answer "Yes" or "No" to the test questions. For each answer "Yes" we give ourselves 1 point, for each answer "No" - we add 0 points.
So, take a piece of paper, pens and … let's go!
1) I am always ready to help a person, I can postpone my affairs for this
2) I cannot refuse if they ask me for something, even if it is not very convenient for me to fulfill this request
3) People often take advantage of my kindness
4) I am ashamed, embarrassed to ask for help, I am afraid to burden the other person or I am afraid to seem intrusive
5) I often feel like a bad, ungrateful daughter
6) I do not feel good / beautiful / smart enough, my merits and achievements are not enough to be proud of myself
7) I do not know how to stand up for myself, respond to an attack in my direction, I become silent and do not know what to say and how to behave
8) I react very painfully to criticism, I am very annoyed and upset when someone notes my mistakes, shortcomings, imperfections, I feel ashamed
9) I was often abandoned, betrayed, used my trust and love, leaving me with nothing
10) The bosses at work, the management does not appreciate, does not notice my efforts
11) I feel like I'm wearing myself out at work, I'm very tired at home
12) I am ashamed and embarrassed to ask for a refund from a person to whom I once gave a loan, I wait until he is ashamed of himself, remembers
13) I do not know how to spend money on myself, but I easily spend money on others (for my children, I buy expensive gifts for friends, I help my parents financially, I can make an expensive gift to my husband)
14) No one sees or appreciates my kindness and my efforts, my help
15) I am sure that time will put everything in its place, that everything will return to everyone, those who suffered will find consolation, happiness will come, and those who have offended others, who lived for their own pleasure, thought only of themselves, will remain in the end lonely and unhappy
16) I can go to work with a fever, because I cannot let the team down, I cannot leave my duties
17) During sex, I more often focus on pleasing my partner, so that he feels good with me, so as not to disappoint him
18) I feel too kind and good, I suffer from it
19) When a person behaves aggressively with me, I fall into a stupor, numb, I do not know what to answer
20) I often feel that my husband / boyfriend does not appreciate what I do for him, I try for my husband / boyfriend, but he does not for me (or to a lesser extent)
21) I am very annoyed by the fact that I try, work, I approach my obligations very responsibly, and other people live for their pleasure and think only of themselves
22) Many people get health, love, success, a good family, kind parents completely undeservedly, such injustice makes me angry
23) I save on myself
24) I have to endure a lot of unfair treatment
25) When they praise me, they say a compliment, I start looking for a catch - what does this person want from me?
26) Good people suffer undeservedly, while villains and crooks get all the best
27) All my relationships were painful, I was used, they did not appreciate me
28) I have a difficult life, many difficulties, a continuous series of problems that I have to cope with alone
29) I am very easily offended
30) I always owe everything and everything: to the bosses at work, my partner, parents, children, who would have thought of me!
So, calculate the total number of points and see below the answers, interpretation to the test.
0-5 points
You can be congratulated - sacrificial behavior is not typical for you! Even if someday you show masochistic traits, then these are more situational reactions, and not a character trait.
6-10 points
Sometimes you can behave like the victim. But even if a trend is emerging, it is not yet masochism. Rather, the fruits of upbringing, environmental conditions, context, for example, are the working conditions or cultural characteristics in the region where you live. Be more attentive to yourself, evaluate the questions to which you answered "Yes" and think about how this can be changed, how you can take care of yourself in these moments.
11-20 points
You often behave sacrificially, you probably have low self-esteem, which requires close attention. You lack the skill of taking care of yourself, which is a consequence of the experience of deprivation, deprivation, cold attitudes on the part of significant people. The fear of making a mistake, the feeling of helplessness can paralyze your activity aimed at improving living conditions, you will rather expect help from the outside, from the outside. There is a tendency to take circumstances too personally, to see situations as worse than they really are. Perhaps you are familiar with stories when you want to give up and you lose faith that our life is in our hands.
more than 20 points
Alas, you have a pronounced victim complex and masochistic character traits.
Whether you realize it or not, whether you recognize it in yourself, but it affects the quality of your life and the people around you. People around you either sit on your neck, waiting for free help, or avoid you because they are unable to help with your problems. Sacrificial behavior captures the main aspects of life: relationships (which are problematic or absent), work (where too many responsibilities are piled on you), finances (which are not enough (you can often save on yourself, directing money not to meet your needs, but to the needs and whims of your loved ones, who can often just use it.) Unconsciously, you yourself can organize your life in such a way that it becomes difficult and joyless. You have obvious problems with self-esteem, there is no skill to take care of yourself. whatever the current situation, you have the strength and ability to change it. And for this it is quite possible to ask for help. Now is the time to think about how to get out of the sacrificial scenario as soon as possible!
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