2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05
If your child has passed into a wonderful ("wonderful" read with light irony) age period - adolescence, then sooner or later he will be faced with the question of choosing his future profession.
At the consultations, no, no, and I hear fears from my parents: “He wanted to be a lawyer, and two weeks later he said that he would study to become a journalist, and two months later he became interested in web design, but says that he would like to work for film studio, and even better - a football player."
Indeed, it happens that adolescents often change their interests. I described below several reasons for this phenomenon and what to do in this case.
Your teenager is still just a teenager.
You have already lived 30+ years of your life, made mistakes, reached the heights, learned to choose. And he is in his adult life for 10-12 years. He still has little experience in listening to his desires, he is not so good at organizing on the way to the goal, he, elementary, does not know himself so well.
He follows the impulse - he saw a picture of a business lawyer, read about a cool correspondent, is in awe of the Superman films, and wants to be involved in it. And the profession, in this case, is the desire to have a definite future.
WHAT TO DO?
- to teach the child to listen to himself - why do I want this? Because of which? Where did I get such thoughts? What do I like the most about this ?;
- help him explore himself - what interests him, what inclinations and strengths he has, what kind of future he would like;
- be patient and wait. The phase of exploring and changing desires is a normal process when making a decision. The more important the decision, the more doubt. Remember this.
“Ideal ideals »
In this case, the teenager has a very vague idea of what these or those professions are. He seems to idealize them. “I’ll become a businessman - my subordinates work, and I get money”, “I’ll be an IT guy - you sit for yourself, you don’t bother anyone, but the money pays”, “I will become a singer - I will give concerts all over the world”.
This reason often goes hand in hand with the previous one. And its roots are in the same place, in the lack of awareness. Only in paragraph 1 - this is little information about yourself, but here - this is little information about the world.
Again, this is normal.
Imagine yourself in a restaurant serving a cuisine you didn't know before. You can get lost, wanting to order one or the other dish, because you have no idea what is delicious.
Test question for a teenager: “Imagine that you are already an entrepreneur / singer / mechanic. Describe in detail what you do? What does your working day consist of?"
Most likely, your teenager himself will understand that he does not know something, and will begin to be interested in this issue.
WHAT TO DO?
- the key is to provide support through information. Help him understand this huge adult world of professions. Form him not an ideal image, but a real picture with all + and -. Show, introduce people from the profession, take them on an excursion, give a book to read, tell about the profession yourself. Turn this search into a fun game!
He's afraid to decide
Imagine: a child lived for himself, studied something, dreamed of what he would become when he grew up, played. And then - he turned 14 years old, and, suddenly, he found himself on the threshold of adulthood, where he urgently needs to know how he wants to spend the rest of his life.
Stress? Stress. Fearfully? And then! Your teen is scared even if he doesn't show it or you can't see it. He is afraid because this is a very “serious, responsible and“for life”decision."
And making the final decision is like a one-way ticket to the unknown. Therefore, different ideas, desires, options for professions may arise.
WHAT TO DO?
- reduce the degree of voltage. Show him that even if he is wrong now, this is not the end of life (first understand this yourself). That profession is, of course, very responsible, but life is unpredictable. That, even if he chooses what he will not be interested in later, he will still get an invaluable experience. That there are always options. That the wrong decision is better than none.
- Pay attention to yourself and try to relieve the pressure. You are probably worried about his future too. But the demands to make up his mind only fuel his worries, and do not motivate him to make a balanced decision.
Scanner
Scheme: Strongly lights up - plunges headlong - quickly understands what's what - loses interest - switches to something else.
Often?
Congratulations, your child might be a scanner. A person with powerful potential, scattered interests and abilities, who is likely to change more than one profession in life.
Psychologist Barbara Sher conditionally divided people according to the type of their professional orientation - into divers and scanners. The first ones most often choose a narrow specialization, “go to the depths”. The second - take the scale, variability of skills, interest in new things.
WHAT TO DO?
- watch the performance of Emily Vapnik
and read Barbara Sher;
- to learn and teach the child to accept himself with his own characteristics. Build on strengths. Give freedom.
Remember that a teenager may have more than one reason for a variety of desires when choosing a profession. Maybe not from this list. Maybe not even related to the choice of profession!
Therefore, once again carefully study this article, and if you do not find an answer, then do not limit yourself to it. Each situation requires separate consideration.
I invite you to consultations on choosing a profession. Online and in person (Kiev)
Decisions made by you, Ovcharenko Irina.
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