How Can You Forgive Others?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It happens that an understanding comes that there is too much resentment inside, anger has accumulated. This in itself begins to affect the mood, and therefore the way life goes. It seems that it is already full of such negativity, and something needs to be done about it. And then there's a clever little piece about how happiness comes to those who know how to forgive. This is it - to forgive. At first, you are happy that you seem to have found a solution, but then a not very pleasant thought comes up: “How to forgive? What exactly to do?"

Remember how it all started, just come on, be honest. The one at whom you were offended did something that you did not like (I'm not talking about those cases when they deliberately wanted to humiliate you, by the way, there are not many of them). Note that it was you who did not like it, and based on your tastes, rules, patterns, beliefs, you decided to blame this person for what he did. Any resentment begins with the fact that you accuse the other of what he did not in the way that is pleasant, habitual or pleasant to you.

First, you checked the other’s action against your “good-bad” belief system, concluded that the other did wrong, blamed him, and took offense at him. But the most interesting thing is that then you try to forgive him. Question: "For what can you forgive another, if all the resentment was formed only in your head?"

So it turns out that all forgiveness is not in another, but in yourself or yourself. Neither he or she should change something, but you need to change your perception. After all, if we accept the fact that we are all different, then it means that our rules are different. And maybe the person did something not to offend you, he did it, he could have done better, he would have done better. Learning to accept people as they are is, in fact, the best remedy for the need to forgive.

To ask another, you first need to stop blaming him, remove from him the guilt that you attributed to him. Yes, it sounds unusual, but we have to start with this. Once you stop blaming the other, it’s easier for you. After all, a lot of energy and time is wasted on the accusation. Remember how often you come back to the idea that the other is to blame for the fact that you have a grudge against him. In this way, you maintain your grudge. And it's very difficult for you to forgive another person.

When you allow another to be himself, perceive him as real, and do not attribute to him any abilities or intentions, then you do not need to forgive. It's all about our perception, how we perceive actions, and the words of another affect our reaction. The belief that the other is doing wrong (not in the way you think is right, not in your opinion) makes you resentful. And then you think about how to learn to forgive. The ability to forgive others comes down to the ability not to blame them for having done an act that seemed quite normal to them, but not to you.

I agree that at first it can be difficult to change your perception, it really takes effort (after all, you thought differently for many years), but the result is worth it. You become freer, you have less negativity, dirt inside, accumulates, and most importantly, you do not need to forgive anyone, there is nothing.

Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.