Adapting To Kindergarten: How To Make The Process As Gentle As Possible?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The topic of kindergarten is very exciting for most parents, and this is not surprising, because the child, in fact, is taking his first steps towards independence. And almost everyone is worried about the issue of adaptation, i.e. the baby's getting used to the new environment.

Adaptation is the process of changing a person to changing conditions (as well as the result of this process), and in any case it involves stress. Stress is not something terrible and necessarily traumatic, it is just the mobilization of the body in order to cope with new conditions. The duration of adaptation is always individual, so do not rely on generally accepted norms. Your overestimated expectations as to when, finally, the baby will get used to the kindergarten, will only add fuel to the fire - upset you, anger, make you feel insolvent.

It is important to distinguish between true and false adaptations. Usually, parents think that the child has adapted if he goes to the garden without hysterics, eats and sleeps there without problems, does not offend other children and does not cry when parting. But it should be understood that a two-year-old child does not need a kindergarten, it is necessary for parents, which means that it makes no sense to expect desire and joy from the child from the idea of visiting him. True adaptation to a preschool institution is when a child prefers to communicate with his mother, but is able to cope with his negative emotions (with the help of educators) when the parents leave. At the same time, his psychological comfort is not disturbed (neurotic habits, problems with the toilet, etc.) do not appear.

Where does adaptation begin? The first step to successful adaptation is making the final decision regarding your visit. While the mother doubts and assumes “to look at the situation”, the child will feel her insecurity, and, therefore, he will not be able to come to terms with the idea of the need to go to kindergarten. The second condition for favorable adaptation is to understand the parents (mother in the first place) with their emotions. If you have too many feelings - anxiety, excitement, guilt, fear, then it is unlikely that you will be able to be the stable adult that the baby needs so much at the moment.

To make the adaptation as gentle as possible, the following conditions must be met.

PREPARE YOUR CHILD IN ADVANCE

Start talking about your child going to kindergarten long before he starts going there regularly. Read books in which kids go to kindergarten, share your own childhood experiences - show photos, tell stories. Be honest - prepare your child not only for the pleasant sides of kindergarten life ("you will play with the kids," "there are many new toys"), but also for unpleasant experiences that will certainly be ("you can be upset and cry when I leave", “You may be bored while I’m at work”).

KNOW THE GARDEN GRADUALLY, DO NOT LEAVE IMMEDIATELY FOR THE DAY

It is important to understand that the beginning of kindergarten is a lot of stress for a child, and it is necessary that the habituation process takes place gradually. First, come, meet the teacher, show the group. Then have the caregiver invite your toddler to play with other children. Give enough time to get used to it, be there until your son or daughter gets used to the new environment. Leave the child only if you are sure that he is no longer anxious.

NECESSARILY PLEASE CONTACT THE PREPARATOR

The child's addiction to kindergarten primarily depends on what kind of relationship he has with the teacher. Indeed, in preschool age, a child needs strong and reliable attachment to the adults who take care of him for healthy development. Therefore, your first priority should be to establish a relationship of trust with the caregivers, and also to help ensure that the same relationship is built with the new adult and your child.

ALWAYS FARE BEFORE LEAVING

One of the biggest mistakes parents make when adapting a child to the garden is to suddenly disappear when the toddler is playing. Of course, this method greatly facilitates the fate of mom or dad (after all, in this case, you will not have to listen to the heartbreaking cries of the child), but for a child it is truly the hardest experience. A two-year-old and even a three-year-old are not yet able to realize that their mother will certainly return for him after some time; they perceive such a sudden disappearance of a parent as a loss. They were abandoned! Such an experience is fraught with the fact that the child will not feel confident that his mother is always there, he will need to literally hold on to her to make sure that she does not disappear anywhere suddenly, which means that with a high probability the baby will stop letting go her even in the next room.

Therefore, be prepared for tearful goodbyes, because it is so natural that, when parting with the closest person, the child cries. On the contrary, the fact that a child of two or three years old ceases to pay attention to the parent when parting and meeting, should be alerted, and is completely focused on children, for example. This can be a signal of the so-called. “Protective emotional alienation”, when the baby seems to begin to believe that his parents are not so necessary for him, trying to cope with feelings of melancholy and anxiety.

CREATE YOUR HOMES WITH THE MOST QUIET ENVIRONMENT

Adaptation to the kindergarten is a process that takes place not only and not so much in the garden, but also outside its walls: at home, with parents, in a familiar environment. Therefore, it is so important to create the most relaxed regime at home, exclude visiting crowded places, minimize contacts with other children, and minimize the use of gadgets (TV, tablet, phone with games and cartoons). The child's nervous system and brain are already spending a lot of resources on getting used to a new lifestyle, so it is important to give rest to all the analyzers of the child, not to overexcite him even more. Spend time better with the family, play games, surround the child with care and attention.

HOW TO DETERMINE THAT A CHILD HAS REALLY ADAPTED?

The kid has established contact with the teacher and can be comforted in his arms when you leave; he feels safe in the kindergarten. The nature of interaction with other children is not only aggressive in nature (at the same time, one should not expect friendship from a child of two or three years old, he is still too young for this). The baby did not develop neurotic habits (sucking a finger, biting nails, pulling out hair) or problems with the toilet (he began to write at night, constipation appeared), there are no other alarming behavioral manifestations (tantrums up to vomiting, night fears, aggressive behavior with other children, or parents); chronic diseases (if any) are not exacerbated.

If you notice any of the above, this should be a signal for you that the baby and his psyche are not coping, which means that appropriate measures must be taken - if possible, postpone the visit to the garden or contact a child psychologist to get recommendations on how help the baby in such a difficult period.

It is important to understand that adaptation is an individual process. How quickly and easily everything will happen depends on many factors: age (there is a huge difference between the adaptation of a two-year-old and a four-year-old child), the conditions of the kindergarten (teachers, the number of children in the group, the rules in each specific preschool institution). Also, much depends on the individual characteristics of the child and family relationships. But the most important thing is to be a stable parent during this period, who does not fall into his own anxieties, but continues to be a reliable support and protection for his child.